Changing Faces
by Valensia
Summary: Squall has a secret which forms a boundary between Rinoa and him. His teammates are now forced to find for what exactly they stand for. A past has to be resolved for Laguna to find peace of heart. Finally it is about a young boy restoring lost dreams and
1. 1 - Of dreams and silent voices

****

Changing Faces

By Valensia

[Disclaimer: All these characters and the Final Fantasy series belong to Squaresoft Inc. No infringement is intended and I'm not making a penny out of it.]

[Author's note: I'm really sorry if there are still grammar/spelling errors, as I have only Word spellcheck and my six years school-English to rely on. Yeah, I'm dutch, that's why. But I'm sure it's still understandble though. It is my first try on a fan fiction and or any kind of English fiction for that matter. I had this idea when I just finished the game, don't be that hard on me will ya.]

Of voicesand silent dreams

Looking around to see if no one was there, he tried to make unnoticed his way out of the ballroom, relieved when he managed to reach the door, before anyone called him back. As he pulled the handle down, a familiar tune held him still. The noise of the people behind him faded, leaving only the melodious tunes of the waltz floating into his ears, bringing back images he was trying to forget. He turned, expecting to see her any minute trough crowd on the dancefloor, standing across the room with a smile on her face. But soon after he came to his senses, he shook his head and turned , ready to leave the room, when suddenly he felt a hand resting on his shoulder. 

"Where're you going, the party just started," he heard a voice soft speak behind him. As he turned he gazed into two friendly blue eyes, belonging to a face named Quistis. With her hand still resting on his shoulder, she repeated her question, after he remained silent.

"Since when am I not allowed to do something without your permission," he inquired harsh. Brushing her hand of his shoulder.

Quistis merely chuckled. "You know this party is also for you."

"It's a SeeD graduation party, I'm already a SeeD. What I'm I suppose to do here."

"You know you're a role-model for these kids. They look up to you, you symbolize the true meaning of SeeD for them, the least you can do is, give them a word of advice or just a little thank you for their support, back then in the Garden war. Anything, to keep them going. It's a responsibility, you know."

Did he ask for this? Did he want all these kids to admire him like some kind of a misplaced God or something? Did he ever ask for anything that has happened? What kind of advice would they want to hear from him? Make sure you don't get yourself killed? Remember to junction everything? Give everything to die in a war that isn't yours? Dammnit, what did they want from him?

"It's a responsibility I didn't ask for. I've got nothing to offer them, just leave me," with those words he left her standing, as he walked towards his room.

The hallway to the dormitories was quiet, except for his footsteps and the sound of the crickets, who came out at night. Unwilling to go his empty room, he leant against the railing. Lately he avoided his room as much as possible, the walls of his room seemed to enclose him in emptiness, an endless void filled with memories.

Gazing over at the garden surrounding him, his mind wandered back to when he first got here. He was in awe when he saw how immense this place was. A sardonic smile escaped him, a lot had happened since the day he had come here as a complete lost little kid. Wars were fought, a world was saved, countries were gained and lost, sorceresses defeated and people disappeared.

If he could do it all over again, he wouldn't have been in Garden at all. He would have refused to take over the responsibility people gave to him. When it was needed the most, everybody decided that it was better for him to take care of everything and flee to somewhere safe. Leaving everything for him to bare and expect a 17 year old who had just become SeeD to take care of the world, while they gathered in the local bars to twiddle their thumbs in expectation for what was to come. Even though he knew deep inside that it wasn't completely true, he felt the need to be really pissed at everybody. Didn't even leaders need to bitch on things once in a while, he felt as if he was imprisoned in a sense of sarcasm and anger, and it felt felt both terrible and good. 

But if he never became a SeeD, then he wouldn't have got to experience a lot of things. He wouldn't have seen so much of the world, he wouldn't have got to meet his teammates, he wouldn't have had a home, he wouldn't have got to meet . . . . He blocked his mind from finishing that thought. That was something he was trying to forget. But his mind didn't seem to be so cooperative and images came into his mind. Memories of _her_ . . .

__

Stop it.

"I can't," he muttered.

"What?' said a soft voice behind him. He turned his head around and saw Quistis again with a worried look in her eyes. What was wrong with her? Couldn't she just take a hint, he wanted to be left alone.

"Nothing. Leave me alone Quistis, " he said. The last thing on his mind was talking to her or anybody about this.

"I know it has to do with _her_ leaving," she said, "Ever since that day, you became so silent and you started to shut us off again."

Did he? He was sure he had acted as normal as possible. He thought he had done everything to let them believe everything was alright, that their lives were stable again. That nothing could ever harm them, except for a Ruby Dragon perhaps. But obviously he didn't make a very good job of it, people knew that everything wasn't normal. That he wasn't normal. Everything wasn't right, damnit! By far not. 

"I can't believe it's coming back," he whispered to himself, already forgotten about Quistis who was still staring at him with a pensive look on her face.

"What is coming back?"

"Everything we've feared and much worse," he replied unconscious, gazing into space, his eyes seemed be somewhere far away from this safe and happy place, somewhere where danger ruled with an iron fist. Somewhere he was so afraid of. 

A cold feeling struck Quistis_, Squall was afraid?_ No, he was _terrified_. Terrified of what was coming. How come, Squall their valiant leader, he wasn't afraid. Fear was meant for those lower than him, for those who did not know what it was to have greater ideals, than fear could block. Fear was for the likes of her, the ones who counted on a stronger being to pull them trough everything. She knew it, and she was honest enough to admit it to herself. But it didn't make sense that Squall, her savior, would be afraid. And more importantly_, afraid of what?_

"Squall, you have to tell me if there's any danger," she said urgent. "If there's a treat to you or anybody else, it concerns us all, _please_."

The distant look in his eyes disappeared and it seemed as if he just returned from a dream, or perhaps a nightmare would be more fitting. He saw her blue eyes full of worry and the questioning look on her face. 

__

No, I can't tell her. Not now, not before I've found a way to solve this. They'll try to stop me. They'll make me give it up. I can't, not for the sake of everybody and for the sake of . . . .

"There's nothing Quisty," he said in hope of calming her, but he saw the disbelieve in her eyes. "I've been having some nightmares, that's all." He wasn't even that far from the truth. Without saying a word he stood up and walked away towards the dormitory. 

__

I know there's something, she thought as she gazed at his back walking farther away from her. What is going on? Squall isn't just afraid, nothing ever gets to him. _Nothing except for Rinoa. _What happened to Rinoa? Why did she leave? Why didn't Squall try to stop her?

Quistis knew she had to talk to Cid about this. She felt there had to be something major going on with Squall, 

and somehow it effected everybody else. She turned, when another thought came into her disoriented mind without a connection to her earlier thoughts, as she turned back again and watched him turn around the corner to enter his room. It suddenly appeared to her that everytime they were alone, she was always the one ending up staring at his back.

*******

Behind his closed eyes played that melody, over and over again. Of all songs, why did they have play this. Didn't they know he was trying to forget it, for the sake of everyone. That he had to let it go, so that everyone could live in peace, without worrying.

__

What about yourself?

That didn't matter. As long as everyone was, he'd be ok. He was the one to put them in this spot. So it would be only fair if he took them out of it again. But there's was a limit to what he could take, and that melody reached and crossed it, leaving it behind the imaginary boundary as a little spot in the distance. Suddenly memories came, floating into his unwilling mind. Memories of things, of a life he had before all this happened. But one memory was able to force his way into his mind, having the force which his other thoughts didn't have, _her_. And she was his only clear memory. 

__

Say it!

Say what?

__

Say her name!

No.

__

Say it!

Leave me alone!

__

I said say it!

No!

__

Say it!!

Rinoa!! Rinoa, damnit. There you have it. Rinoa, Rinoa, Rinoa. The very same Rinoa who left me, the Rinoa I chased away, Rinoa the most powerful sorceress, Rinoa the girl from the ball, the Rinoa I saw.

Memories of her came back all at once. Of her smiling at him, how her hand felt when she grabbed his hand to drag him to the dancefloor, the smell of her hair, the cute way she narrowed her eyes when she was angry, remembering her look when he made fun of her train models back then in Timber, her tears when he found her in space, her detriment attitude making him helplessly doing whatever she wished.

__

Dammnit! 

Why was this happening? Wasn't it enough that he sent her away, what more would it take just to let it rest, as if he wasn't hurting already.

Images unwillingly appeared in his mind, of her tears, her disbelieve, the crushed look on her face. How she tried to convince him he was wrong. And images of himself trying to convince her, that she didn't belong here. That she wasn't the one, that they weren't suppose to be. 

He opened his eyes. The peacefulness of his room compared to the turbulent stream of memories in his consciousness he was trapped in, made him feel a little disoriented. 

He leaned back in his chair and placed his feet on the desk. He heard the party music from a distance. The evening was still young, it would probably go on until passed midnight. Knowing Zell and Irvine, they'd secretly continue partying in a basement, until they were caught again. Irvine who'd only been six months in Balamb Garden, was already a familiar face for the Disciplinary Committee, and he always dragged Zell in his crazy plans.

Squall noticed that Zell had been a little reserved towards him, ever since Rinoa disappeared. He knew that Zell blamed him for that, _if only he knew how right he was_. Zell had tried to match them since day one, he even tried to make a replica of his ring for Rinoa.

Squall glanced at his ringfinger, a dark thin shade circled around the bottom of his finger, where the Griever ring used to be. Even though it has been a while since he gave it to her, it still felt awkward not having the comforting weight of the ring. He caught himself sometimes unconsciously sliding with his thumb, around his ringfinger, still expecting to feel the delicate structure of the Griever engraving. But as soon he would always realize that even though he didn't have the comfort of his ring anymore, he had now the comfort of the thought that she was wearing his ring, comforting her the way it did him.

__

Not if she threw that thing out of the window, after the way you've treated her. 

A firm knock on the door made him wake up from his musing. He stood up and walked to the door to open it, while wondering who it could be, because everyone was at the party.

"So what's up with our lone cowboy here?" Irvine said as he bursted in, without waiting for an invitation and jumped on the bed.

"Well, why don't you come in," Squall muttered sarcastically and turned around. He saw Irvine with questioning look on his face.

"Why aren't you on the party?" Irvine asked.

"I didn't feel like it, I was tired." 

" Crap! Now, the real reason please."

"Leave me alone Irvine." Squall sat back on his chair with his back turned to Irvine, hoping he'd get the hint. But Irvine being as he was didn't move, instead he made himself comfortable on the bed and started to talk about the party and (his fantasy about) how all the girls there fell for him, jokes he heard, the cute dress Quistis was wearing, until Squall couldn't bear it. How on earth was he able to think with this chatty wacko around.

"Damnit, tell me what you want and leave me," cried Squall out. Irvine just smiled.

"Ok, I wanna know where Rinoa is and why she left." 

Squall remained silent. Even though he had expected the question long before, he was suprised when someone actually asked him. But he couldn't tell. No matter how bad he wanted to tell someone, he couldn't. Besides, he didn't know himself where she was. He only knew the reason why she left.

"I . . ," Squall said, but Irvine interrupted him.

"Tell me the truth Squall, don't lie to me."

"Ok, I don't know where she is. I really don't." Squall replied with a sigh.

"But you could, if you tried, don't you?"

Squall paused. "Yes. I could, but there's no point in finding her. Let it rest."

"Fine," Irvine said, "Then tell me _why_ she left, you know that, don't you?" Squall's face gave him the answer. 

"Yes, I know."

"Then tell me, why?"

Squall turned around. Looking at the empty wall, he thought of how many times she told him to do something about this wall. She even suggested to put up a picture of the gang. But of course he refused, to keep a picture of someone, and putting it on wall for everyone to see how much he cared about some. No, he still wasn't ready to to expose his inner being for the world. 

But now, now he did wish that he had a picture of her. A visible evidence that she'd been there, there in his life.

"I made her," he said finally. He could tell the disbelieve of Irvine in the way he held his breath, without turning around.

"How, . . I mean . . what are you talking about?" Irvine asked. "Why . .I don't understand."

"I told her to leave and never to come back," he said with a dull voice, all emotion drained out of his voice, leaving a robotic monotone sound, that gave Irvine the chills.

"Why . . .?" But Squall didn't let him finish and continued, as if he wasn't aware of the other man standing in the room.

"She didn't believe me, she thought it was a joke. And I . .I . . yelled at her," he said. He felt something harsh striking him within, it felt as if a burning claw has reached within him, and was now trying to rip all the life out of him, was this what they called pain? Heartbreak? No, it couldn't be, this was far more viscous to have a cliched label. 

"And still, she wouldn't believe me. I told her that it wasn't meant to happen. That she had to leave, that she didn't belong here, in Garden . ." He paused.

__

"Why are you doing this?"

"Listen, I mean it. This never meant to happen."

"Damnit Squall, be honest with me, it's so unlike you. What is it, why are you saying these things."

"Rinoa . . . ."

"Don't you Rinoa me, tell me, what's wrong, the truth."

"I don't need you here, you've been a burden on me from the first day that I met you. At first I thought that things could turn out alright, but it didn't, at least not for me."

"And you just realized it now? If I was such a burden on your delicate shoulders, then why wasn't it a burden when we dance, when we're alone, when I make you smile. Why is it a burden, now??"

"I just realized something?"

"What? What did you realize?"

"T-that there is something, someone else, I lo- care for."

" . . . . . "

"Rinoa, I . . . "

"Who is it?"

"That doesn't matter, what matters is . . . "

"Don't tell me what I matter for me, tell me, who is it?"

"It's . . . . . Q-Quistis."

"No."

"Yes."

"I still don't believe you."

"It's true Rinoa, I've always loved Quistis. She and I are alike. We grew up together, we both struggled for our lives. We're the same, but you . . you are different, different from me, us. Your and our perspectives are an ocean of difference, and nothing is stable and steady enough to cross it. It's a fact, not even I can change that."

"What?"

"It's for the best Rinoa. You wouldn't have been happy here. You don't belong here, everyone here is trained to survive and to live only for our common goal. You can't share that."

"What's your common goal then? Fighting blindly against demons of your past and pushing away those that surround you in affection. Is that really the most terrible thing you can image? To have someone there who would just love you. Well I never asked for your love, in fact I never asked anything from you. Just know that from my side I do love you, or did, or . . . . I don't know. All I know is that all that you have said tonight changed everything, spinning the wheel the way it wasn't suppose to. And you're right then, I can't share that.

"I just . . ."

" . . .wanted to tell we're different?"

" . . .yes. You're different than everyone else here. You've never known what loneliness was, . . you've never known what trouble was, what hurting was like."

"Well, you sure have taught me now. You know what Squall? You're in fact the best teacher I've ever had."

He felt the familiar yet detestful burning in his eyes. When was the last time he felt something like this. This clear evidence of his hurt. But he didn't cry, it wouldn't help anything nor undo things that had already been done. If there was one thing he had learnt from his young life as a SeeD, it would be that the past was the past and no force in the world could ever change that.

"How could you?" he heard a voice say behind him. It wasn't Irvine's. He turned around and saw Quistis with a chrushed look on her face. He read anger and disgust in her blue eyes. As she stood there, frozen in shock, staring bewildered at him. But Quistis wasn't the only one there, he saw Zell and Selphie behind her, both looked at him as if he was a horrible creature. And Squall couldn't agree more.

"Quisty, I . . . ."

Without saying a word she slapped him in the face. It hurt, but he didn't care. She slapped him again on the other cheek. It hurted more this time, the familiar taste of blood caressed his hurt lips, but he wished that she did it again. There was something inside him, that he needed to kill, even if it would mean that he himself would die along. Quistis raised her hand again, but Irvine grabbed it before it reached his cheek. 

"You bastard, you miserable bastard," she cried. "How could you do this to me, to _her_. I trusted you, how could you use _that _against her."

He felt how the open wound inside him increased, as he saw Quistis' tears, her anger, her hurt. She reminded him of Rinoa, the last time he saw her.

"Quistis, I'm so very sorry. You can't imagine how much." He reached out for her hand, but she rolled back. 

"There's no excuse for what I've done Quistis. I hope that one day, you're able to forgive me." He continued.

"Why are you always so selfish, thinking of nobody but yourself. I was a fool for admiring you, wishing I just had some of your qualities. Be a fraction of what you are. And how everyone wished you'd throw off that indifference and show your true self. Now, we know what's beneath there. What was there all along, nothing but a worthless heart of stone."

"That's enough Quistis," said Irvine calmly. "Let's hear what Squall has to say. Squall go on, tell us what happened before, that made you do that."

He flinched at her words, even though he knew very well she was right. Yes, inside there was nothing but filth, but hearing it said out loud, from her mouth, was something he wasn't prepared for. It actually hurt, despite the fact she was true and had every reason to hate, he didn't expect it from her. Did he really become that horrible, that he could have hurt her, Quistis, the one who always saw something good in him, his older sister. 

Squall sighed. Should he tell? Try to change her opinion of him. Try to restore her respect for him. They wouldn't be able to rest anyway, and there was no way he could either. But there was stil something holding back, what if they made him get Rinoa back?

"There is something really wrong . And it involves Rinoa, she had to go away." He paused. Thinking how to put it, he didn't even know himself what was going on, he knew just enough to know that she was in danger if she stayed here with him.

"Oh my God," cried Selphie out, "what do you mean she's in danger. How could you let her go by her own, if she was in danger?"

"I had to. That was her only salvation."

Before he even could start explaining, they heard a familiar voice over the intercom. "Will Squall Leonheart please report at the headmaster's office immediately, I repeat, will Squall Leonheart report at the headmaster's office immediately, thank you," sounded Xu's voice.

__

What was going on?

"It sounds urgent," said Irvine.

Squall nodded and left the room, thankful for the interruption. He made his way to the elevator who'd take him to the third floor, where the headmaster's office was located. He wondered what was going on, there was suppose to be a party going on in the squad and it was near midnight, why was he called to the headmaster?

He started to increase his pace. The sound of his footsteps resounded loudly in his mind, there was nobody there. Everyone was at the party or in the dorms, as the other facilities were closed, except for the trainingcentre which was open 24/7. 

He walked up the stairs to the elevator and pressed the button. The display above showed that the elevator was at the floor above and very soon sounded the bell to announce that the elevator had arrived. He pressed the button for the third floor and leaned back, until the doors opened.

He knocked on the closed door of the office and waited till he heard Cid's voice ordering him to come in.

Cid sat behind his behind his desk and next to him stood his loyal Xu. Both looked serious. Squall raised his hand in a salute.

"Squall Leonheart reporting sir." Squall said. Cid nodded as an acceptance. 

"Squall, I've called you because I needed some answers to a few questions I have." 

"What questions?" asked Squall.

"Well Quistis came to me and she told me this vague thing about a danger threatening you. I'd be very pleased if you'd clear this out for me."

Squall opened his mouth to answer, but he changed his mind. Should he tell, what if they took the wrong decision.

"Sir, I'm not sure what you are talking about." Squall said in a flat tone.

Cid sighed. "Well, would you tell me then where miss Rinoa Heartilly is located and why she left the Garden so sudden, without notifying anyone about it?" 

Squall let out a sigh. Why couldn't they just leave him alone. He was the one who had to deal with this, everything would be just fine if they let him handle it.

"I do not know where R . ., miss Heartilly is located sir," he said in truth, hoping that Cid wouldn't repeat the second part of his question.

But Cid calmly asked the other question again. "And do you know why she left?"

Squall paused. He'd tell, he had to say it, nobody would rest until they knew what was wrong. Maybe things wouldn't be that bad, maybe they'd understand his reasons and accept the situation as it was.

"Sir, it's a long story and . . ." 

"We have all the time," interrupted Cid.

". . . . . and before I can proceed, I would like that Quistis, Zell, Irvine and Selphie could listen to what I have to say too." Squall continued.

Cid told Xu to call them. Xu nodded and turned around to grab the mic on Cid's desk. "Will the following SeeDs report at the headmaster's office, Quistis Trepe, Irvine Kinneas, Selphie Tilmett and Zell Dincht, I repeat will these SeeDs report at the headmaster's office immediately."

It took ten minutes before they all were present in the office. They'd been waiting in Squall's room for him to come back, and explain everything that was going on with him, when they suddenly heard Xu's voice ordering them to come to the headmaster's office. They saluted and stood there waiting for someone to tell what was going on. Cid greeted them and told them to sit down on the floor (due to the fact that there weren't any chairs, besides Cid's, in the room).

"You may continue Squall," Cid said with a friendly voice.

Squall sighed. "Rinoa left three months ago. I really don't know where she is. But you're right, I know why she left."

Squall paused, his mind wandered back to the night when they were celebrating their victory, the night he first kissed her. He closed his eyes to get that memory out of his mind, that was too much now. A week before that night they'd defeated Ultimecia and somehow they've found their way back to their time. But before that, Squall remembered how he saw himself as a little kid, and matron who was looking for him. And then how Ultimecia rose from the ground, weakly and heavily injured, and how she passed her powers onto Matron.

And suddenly the Matron and the Orphanage faded, and he stood in a deserted plain. He remembered thinking that he had to go the flower field, where he had promised Rinoa that he'd be there, whenever she was looking for him. Everything after remained slightly vague to him.

The next thing he remembered was that he fell on the floor and dreamt that he was in Rinoa's arms, lying in a field full of flowers, before he woke up at the infirmary.

That's when he heard the voice. It was a cold lifeless voice that lacked any emotion, he shivered when the voice pierced into his mind, filling his body with ice. 

__

You know I'll be back.

You know I'll be back for her.

I shall return, to take what is rightfully mine. 

He took his head between his hands hoping that the voice would disappear. This hurted more than all the injuries he had. It was like someone was trying to tear his mind up with a flaming sword. Everything turned red trough his eyes. He vaguely felt how he dropped from the bed on the floor.

__

Lead me back, this will be the last time.

You shall lead me to her.

It's you who holds the key to her mind and my property.

He suddenly froze when the words settled in his consciousness. _It wants Rinoa? I have to bring it to Rinoa? _

As if the voice knew he understood it now, he felt how the coldness slowly disappeared out of him. He fell back to the floor, his head hurting as if it was filled with Jumbo's thousand needles.

Rinoa found him lying on the floor. He'd experienced it like some sort of déja vu, as if she held him like that before. She'd called dr. Kadowaki who examined him, but she couldn't find anything serious, she thought that maybe he'd been dreaming.

After a few hours he was released and was allowed to go back to his room. While he was changing his clothes, he heard Xu announce that there would be a huge party that night, to celebrate the defeat of Ultimecia, Garden's ultimate goal and to honor the five SeeDs and Rinoa who accomplished that.

He'd never forget that night. It all turned out very well for everyone. He was filled with pride when everyone congratulated him, instead of being indifferent to the compliments, like he used to. He knew that it was really something to be able to defeat the greatest treat to humanity ever, but he wasn't aware of all the things he'd accomplished until that night, he had everything he ever wished for, he was a SeeD, he was someone everyone looked up to, he had his friends who stood by him till the very end and he had somebody again, someone who cared for him, someone who would miss him if he was gone.

The shooting star, remembered him of the night he first saw her, the way she smiled at him, she smiled the same way this night. He wondered what he was thinking for letting her wait so long, he'd almost lost her because of his doubts, doubts on what his feelings were towards her. For the first time in his life, he felt secure. He felt as if he could handle anything as long as she kept smiling. He felt secure enough to do what he desired to do for so long but couldn't make himself do before, he pulled her closer and kissed her.

Squall shook his head, forcing the memory to leave his mind. This wasn't the time to get sentimental. There were other things to clear out.

For three months life had been okay, besides being on a occasional mission, he was busy helping Cid with recovery of Balamb Garden. Cid told him that it was for the best that Rinoa came to live in Balamb Garden, being the powerful sorceress she was, it was for the best if they could keep an eye on her. Help her with her newgained powers and support her. Squall had thought it kinda strange, having a sorceress live in Garden who was training kids to kill them. Checking if Rinoa wouldn't become evil would make more sense. 

Everyone treated them as a couple, what they weren't at all. He needed time to figure out his feelings, a lot had happened. He was forced in situations he didn't want to be in. Often had he questioned himself, if he would act the way he did, if he wasn't in a worldtreatning situation. Now it was the time to figure this out, that was the reason why he was opposed to the idea of her living in Garden. He didn't want to act out everyone's gossip fantasies of them two together. Of course he cared for her, and it was a feeling like he had never felt. It scared him, but comforted him at the same time. While he was still lingering in confusion, he couldn't possibly have a relationship of any kind.

But they had been happy. Rinoa loved it to live in Balamb Garden, she felt at home the minute she came here. Even though she wasn't a SeeD, she was treated like one by everybody. She had the same rights and obligations as everyone else. He never saw her so happy as she was in Garden.

Every once in a while she went back to Timber to sort out things out with Galbadia, who finally agreed with the Timber's independence (with a little pressure from Garden). The chief of the Forest Owls became president, with everyone's approval. Rinoa was offered to be president in the first place, but she refused, not wanting to leave Garden for so long, so she agreed to go back once in a while, to rebuild Timber's government. Everything turned out to be ok.

But Squall never forgot the voice he heard, that day in the infirmary. He wondered if his nightmares were coming back again. He didn't really understand what it meant. _I have to bring it to Rinoa?_

He refused to think about it, even though it slipped trough his mind everytime he saw Rinoa, but her smile and all the stories she had to tell, pushed the shadow that occupied his mind, to the back.

One day as he was training with Rinoa and Zell in the trainingcentre, a T-Rexaur appeared. While he was summoning a GF, Rinoa just simply raised her hand and blew him away with a single spell. Even though he tried to act normal, in order not to discomfort her. Her magical powers had increased drastically. That thought didn't let go of his mind, and he couldn't understand why. It wasn't like it was something incredible or anything, it wasn't more than a logical result, after obtaining the powers of two sorceresses, Edea's and Ultimecia's. But how come, he couldn't let go of the thought? At first he didn't bother to think about it, but the more he saw her use sorcery, the more interested he became. No, the right word was _obsessed_.

That's when he started to think about the voice more often. He never heard it again since that day, but he somehow felt that to whoever it belonged, was near, maybe closer than he thought.

Squall started to change, not much from the exterior, but more and more from in the inside. He changed too much and too fast, for him not to notice. He had this feeling inside whenever he saw Rinoa, it didn't have anything with to do with love or desire as before, but more with. . .hate. _Hate?_ Yes, he felt this burning anger inside him, he never felt, not even towards Seifer, his ultimate rival.

He started to invite her more to go to the trainingcentre, just to watch her use her magical powers. He could be so fascinated by it, that he forgot to attack when it was his turn. He never slept, instead he spent the entire night thinking about Rinoa's powers. He forgot about this angry feeling when Rinoa was out of his sight. And it seemed like nothing happened at all. But when she was around him, and that was quite often, it all began.

Three months after he heard the voice speak to him, Squall attended a meeting that Cid had called to talk about the future of Balamb Garden. Rinoa wasn't invited, as she was in Timber at the moment. But the other five SeeDs were there. Cid talked about how they had to send out more SeeDs as mercenaries, to raise some money, as the Garden was low on funds. No matter how coldhearted Norg was, he'd been right about the financial part.

Garden had been about defeating the sorceress, the true goal of Garden. Now that was accomplished, they had to set a new goal. 

__

How dare he talk so arrogantly about unfinished matters. 

And their goal now was to maintain peace throughout the world, and to become more and more involved in conflicts. Cid thought of Garden to take role of peacemaker between nations. One of the reasons why Ultimecia managed to take a hold of this world was that the world was divided in parts, nations, distinguishing themselves from others, maintaining only their interests. They had to prevent the world from a division like that ever to happen and to give one force all the power over their world.

Even though Ultimecia was gone, there wasn't world peace. There was still a hostile Galbadia to look out for, who was now in middle of elections for the presidency.

Everything seemed to pass Squall by, except for the rage that increased within him, when he saw the pleased faces of everyone, at the thought of how they've defeated Ultimecia.

"Rinoa is now the only sorceresses of this time, and she's on our side, there's no treat from the future nor the past anymore, not to her or anybody. But we do have to keep an eye out for her, to help her with her new developed powers," Cid said.

Squall suddenly froze. That was it! The rage inside him disappeared. Why didn't he think of this before.

__

You shall lead me to her.

It's you who holds the key to her mind.

These feelings, this unexplained fascination of Rinoa's newgained powers, this burning rage, it all made sense_. _There was no doubt to whom the voice belonged.

She's back! _And I've been helping her all along. I've brought her to Rinoa. _That day, when he heard the voice_, it was Ultimecia's. _She could see through his eyes, and he could feel what she felt.

His second thought, came almost as sudden as his first. _RI'm Rinoa's only treat. She and the world are in danger again, whenever she's around me. I have to get her away from me._

***************************

"Why you?" he heard Selphie's soft voice ask. Squall opened his eyes, he was in Cid's office. He saw seven pairs of eyes staring at him. Everyone sat there gazing at him with amazement. Their, what they thought safe world, was turned around again,

"I don't know, she said I had to lead her to Rinoa."Squall said, He was tired, tired but relieved that he had it off his chest. That he didn't have to deal with it alone.

"You hold the key to her heart," muttered Quistis.

"What?" Cid asked.

"Squall is the only one Rinoa loves, if anyone is able to access her mind, than it has to be Squall," Quistis replied.

__

Rinoa loves me? No way, even if she did, he'd destroyed the smallest loving part of hers forever. Besides, love isn't a issue now. There are more important things to look out for.

"Why didn't Ultimecia just took over Rinoa, like she did before," Zell asked, "why wait all this time and use Squall. It doesn't make sense ya know."

"No, it makes perfectly sense," Quistis replied with a thoughtful look on her face. "We've defeated her. She thought she'd die, when she passed her powers unto Matron. But no one really saw her die, now did we? Maybe she survived somehow and without her abilities nor the machine she couldn't start a timecompression and take over Rinoa. Maybe this is the only way she's able to take over Rinoa's powers and regain her strength. She's stuck in our time."

"If she isn't capable of taking over Rinoa, how come she took over Squall?" Selphie asked.

"But she didn't take over Squall." Quistis replied. "He said she could see trough his eyes, she was in his mind and he felt what she felt. But he was still capable of making his own decisions, right Squall?" Everyone turned around to Squall, who seemed to be somewhere else with his mind again.

"Huh?" Squall looked up absent-mindly.

"Ultimecia didn't take you over, right, you were making your own choices?" Cid repeated Quistis question patiently.

Was he? He did became more interested in Rinoa's powers and he did provoke her once in a while, to use her magic. That wasn't solely his own decision, in fact it wasn't his decision at all.

"I . .don't know," he said uncertain, "I think I could feel what she felt, and sometimes her feelings became so intense that they dominated my own. I've sometimes acted in a way I wouldn't, I think that's when _her _feelings became stronger. But it didn't feel like someone was in me, it seemed like these new feelings of anger were my own."

Irvine sat there all the time listening, without saying a word. _Something was wrong here_, there was something suspicious about Squall's story, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He'd figure it out. Irvine was sure that there was something Squall didn't see, or _didn't mention_, something important.

"And how do we get that witch outta his head then?" Zell asked.

Cid gazed into space, he didn't know, but maybe there was someone else who knew a solution. "You'll have to go to Esthar to see doctor Odine, he might have a theory on this."

"Shall I notify Esthar of our arrival tomorrow then?" Xu asked. 

Cid nodded slowly. "And for everyone here, go get some rest, make sure you're ready at 7.00 am sharp." 

****


	2. 2 - Maybe some day

[Disclaimer: All the characters and the Final Fantasy belong to Squaresoft, no infringement is intended and no money is made, so please don't sue me, besides my make-up collection I've got nothing to offer you]

Maybe some day

Squall plumped on his bed. He was tired and felt his head aching. But he also felt as if he lost some of the emotional burden he was carrying. He was so relieved that they didn't want to get Rinoa back, he wasn't sure he could resist the idea of seeing her again, no matter how terrible that would be. To feel the energy that surrounded her, to see her smile, to have a chance of undoing what he had done.

__

Damnit Rinoa, I didn't ask for this. He didn't want any of this. It had always been like this, people forced him into situations, but he knew that he asked for it, by rejecting responsibility others forced it on him. He had found himself comfortable taking other people's orders, obeying others and let them decide his life, so he didn't have to do it himself. For the first time, he saw this as a weakness, he knew why he wanted others to decide everything for him. Should something go wrong with himself or others, it wasn't his fault and he wouldn't have to bear with something as his oh so dominating conscious. But this situation he was in now, the reason why he had to hurt someone he cared for, all this, made him want to go back to his old self. He now remembered why he didn't want to decide for himself in the first place. He had decided and look what his decision had brought him.

In a sudden fit of rage, Squall stood up and rushed towards the door taking his gunblade. He felt his feet walking faster and faster, until he began to run. The party had ended hours ago and the hallways were empty. He increased his pace, to be ahead of the shadow of thoughts that was following him. Suddenly a noise behind him made him turn around. He found himself in the trainingcentre and behind him stood a T-Rexaur. He pulled out his Lionheart, narrowing his eyes to get a closer look at him in the dark.

"You were waiting for me huh," Squall muttered, "Well I won't disappoint you then." 

But before he could take out a strike, he felt the tail of the enormous beast blowing him away, drastically lowering his hit points. Squall didn't bother to use a cure spell, instead he prepared himself to give out a Renzokuken. He ran towards the suprised T-Rexaur and kept striking him hit after hit. All the rage and frustration within him were concentrated in his blows.

__

This is for all the misery you've caused.

Another hit, not aware that his face was covered in the giant beast's blood.

__

This is for all the sleepless nights.

He prepared himself for the finishing blow.

__

This is for Rinoa

And he gave out the final strike that made the T-Rexaur scream out his last breath. He stood there and watched the enormous beast crumble into a pathetic pile of flesh, there was no evidence left of his once glorious strength. Squall stood there silently gazing at the lifeless T-Rexaur. He felt nothing, there was this total emptiness in him, as if all the feelings he had inside were drained out of him, with every blow he had given out. It felt good, it felt so good not to feel anything, not to have anything to think about. That was his last thought before he collapsed.

Quistis knew he was out there, she'd seen him running out the dorms. Without thinking for a second, she left her own room, not aware of the fact she was still wearing her sleeping gown and her gold blonde hair unbrushed falling lose beside her face. She narrowed her eyes to see trough the darkness of the trainingcentre. Thanks to Diablo's enc-none she'd equipped, she didn't ran into any enemies. She didn't have the time to be dealing with those pathetic little Grats who were commonly found here.

Just when she was about to give up, thinking he'd gone back to his room, she saw something glitter near a tree. As she walked closer Quistis noticed it was a gunblade, The Leonheart. Next to this precious weapon she saw the motionless body of Squall.

"Oh my God, Squall," she cried out. She kneeled besides him to see if he was still alive. He moaned as she turned his face towards her. Quistis let out a sigh of relieve. _He's alive, I have to get him out here._

She pulled him up over her left shoulder, showing an unexpected strength, seen her delicate exterior. While staggering under his weight, she managed to carry him to her room. Quistis decided to let him sleep here as she didn't know the code to his room. She tried to lay him on the bed as gently as she could, but she lost her grip on him, and Squall plumped on the bed, making him moan a little. 

Quistis tucked him in, making sure she didn't hurt his injuries. _He needs a cure spell_. It wasn't allowed to use magic inside the Garden, but she didn't have any potions left, so she stood up to close the door and casted a curaga on him. She saw his deep blue eyes open slowly, hypnotizing her. He opened his mouth to say something, but she laid her finger on his lips.

"Sssh," she whispered, "You have to rest now, tomorrow will be an early day for you." He nodded and fell at sleep almost immediately. Her finger still softly pressed against his lips. Without realizing what she was doing, her finger almost automatically followed the contours of his beautiful lips. His hair fell in front of his face and for the first time she saw him as an innocent little boy, in the safety of a home, instead of a courageous warrior. His familiar frown disappeared. He seemed tired, _tired of the world?_

She felt a familiar feeling in her stomach, the feeling of million butterflies fluttering. _No, I'm over this._ Was she? _Yes._ She knew she didn't stand a chance, once Rinoa came in picture, and even if they'd never met, the possibility that Squall would be interested in her was very unlikely. Especially after the way she had treated him earlier. Letting him down when he needed her the most. Of course she was hurt. She knew he never thought of what she had told him, back then in the orphanage, that she had feelings for him, but he did suddenly remember when he needed an excuse, that was what had hurt her. That she was just an excuse, coming handy in time to talk his way out. But she knew it wasn't true, Squall wasn't so calculating, Seifer perhaps, but not Squall. Now she knew what the cause was of what he had said, that it was Ultimecia's doing, she had felt ashamed for all the harsh things she said to him. How could she let him down. She felt a familiar hurt inside as she thought of his face when she yelled at him. She glanced down at his sleeping face, it was now neutral. Captured in the dreamworld, where there was no such thing as a resurrection of a sorceresses or Quistisses to betray him, the only man she had ever loved.

__

No, I mistook my protective feelings towards Squall as love, but it was just a memory of the feelings I always had in the orphanage. 

Right, why was her heart beating so fast now, why was all her blood rushing towards her veins when she touched him like this, why . .? 

__

Stop it. I have to help him get Rinoa back, instead of musing here about stupid fantasies. 

Ok, let him go then, stop gazing at him, stop touching him and enjoying the feeling of his soft skin. She shook her head.

__

I'm not in love, I'm over him, I'm glad that he's found someone he's happy with and I have to get him back to her.

What if only you could kiss him, to know what the feeling is like?

__

No.

To just know how his lips taste.

__

I can't take advantage of him like that.

To get a glimpse of how things could have been.

__

He'd be disgusted by me if he knew.

He doesn't have to know, it will be your own memory.

__

He doesn't love me, what use will it have.

You would remember, you'd have something to cherish.

__

I'd be betraying Rinoa, who's one of my closest friends.

It would be a closure of your feelings, to seal them forever.

__

I love him so, but . . . .

This one last expression of a feeling he'll never know . . .

She leaned over to him, gazing at his beautiful sleeping face. She felt his chest moving under her own, breathing softly. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips softly against his. They felt like fire burning against her delicate crimson lips, a fire welcomed by her cold and dusty heart. After what seemed an eternity she managed to pull herself back, her eyes widened in realization of what she'd just done and the thought of the incredible feeling of his lips against hers. Squall started to move in his sleep, his eyes opened slowly and gazed for a second at her. Her heart skipped a few beats, but he smiled and closed them again. Quistis stood up, removing the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. As she turned to leave, she felt how suddenly a hand grabbed hers.

"Don't leave me", he muttered in his sleep. 

Quistis froze, did he know what she just did? She turned to him, gazing at his beautiful face. Did he even know what effect these words had on her? _I love you Squall, more than you'll ever know_. _I'll never leave you, I'll never betray you again, I'll always be there_. She kissed him on cheek and turned to leave the room once again, before he'd wake up and see her beside his bed. But before she closed the door behind her, she heard him mutter something.

"Never leave me Rinoa, always hold me like this."

***********

Everyone was already waiting for Squall, when he reached the Garden's gates. His head was aching and he tried not to look as if a bulldozer had chrashed him. 

He was suprised to wake up in Quistis room this morning, she'd told that she'd found him unconscious in the trainingcentre. After he had thanked her, he went off to his own room, to refresh himself, and he made sure no one saw him coming out of his room, he didn't want to raise any questions.

"Ya late, we've been waitin all day," greeted Zell. 

"You just got here yourself Zell," Selphie said laughing.

Zell scratched the back of his head with his gloved hand. "Had to stand in line for the hotdogs, ya know," the energetic blonde boy grimaced.

Squall shrugged and boarded the Ragornak, once everyone was on board, the Ragornak took off to Esthar. After the defeat of Ultimecia, Balamb Garden received the Ragornak from Esthar as a gift. And it became their most common form of transportation, as it could reach everywhere in the world in a few hours. 

Squall sat alone in the meeting room in one of the chairs, gazing out of the window. The landscape changed as they passed several regions. He enjoyed these moments alone, when he was free to think, without someone staring at him, wondering what he could be thinking. But he'd give up all these moments alone for a second with _her_.

He couldn't help wondering where she was or what she was doing. He knew she hadn't gone back to Timber, because he'd been there quite a few times to check up on the Timber's situation.

Squall was afraid of seeing her again, the first time he went back to Timber. He tried to get out of the mission, but Cid refused. There weren't any SeeDs left, as they were all on different missions, rebuilding Trabia Garden, being the most important. 

But when he caught up with the former chief of the Forest Owls, now the president, he learned that Rinoa hadn't returned to Timber, after the night she left Garden. He'd felt relieved, yet disappointed she wasn't there. Afterwards he'd convinced himself that it was all for the best.

Maybe he would be able to undo what he had done, maybe dr. Odine could find a solution, maybe Rinoa was able to forgive him one day. He shook his head, all he had was some unfounded maybes, none reliable enough to set his hopes on.

The door behind him opened and Irvine walked in with his beloved Exeter casually resting on his shoulder. He took place in the seat next to Squall.

"It's been a while since we went to Estar huh?" said Irvine in order to start a conversation, but Squall only shrugged, still staring out of the window.

"Squall, can I ask you something?" Irvine asked.

Squall looked annoyed up. "What is it?"

Should he ask this? Maybe it was nothing, and he didn't want Squall to think that he didn't trust him. Maybe trust was the thing Squall needed the most right now.

"Nah, it's nothing. It's that I hoped everything would be better with Ultimecia out of the way, you know." He said instead.

"That's what we all thought." Squall sighed. 

"Prepare for arrival in Esthar," Selphie's voice sounded over the intercom, "We should be landing in 10 minutes at Esthar's Airstation."

*************

"So, they'll finally be here huh," Kiros said.

"Yeah." Laguna said, while he was staring out of the window.

"What are you gonna say then?" Kiros asked.

Everything he wanted to say for 18 years, but he didn't know the words_. I'm sorry_? _I'm proud of you?_ _I love you_?

"I have to know what's wrong first. Why do they want to see that crazy 'ol Odine?" 

"I guess we'll soon find out then. They should be arriving at the presidential residence in 5 minutes."

They both turned around when they saw a man coming in Laguna's office. "President, the SeeDs have arrived."

Laguna nodded. "Let them in." He stood up to welcome them when he saw Irvine, Selphie, Zell, Quistis and finally Squall walking into the room. He noticed that girl in blue, Rinoa hadn't join them.

"Welcome guys, it's really nice to see ya again." He greeted. The SeeD saluted for him. 

"So why do you guys wana see Odine for?" Laguna asked. They looked at eachother and as if he understood their expectation, Squall stepped to front.

"We have reasons to believe that sorceress Ultiemecia is alive and still remains a treat to us." Squall said directly. 

__

He must have got that from Raine, she never was one to turn around matters, Laguna thought smiling. 

"I don't understand why that is funny," Squall said.

"Uhm, no it's definitely not, please continue." Laguna said. Everything about him reminded him of Raine. They both had the same eyes, but the boy got a face of his own and even the serious expression was something unfamiliar.

"Strange things had happened after we've defeated Ultimecia,"Squall continued, "I've heard a voice, I'm pretty sure it's Ultimecia's. It's likely she has plans to regain the powers of R . . . , miss Heartilly, who once received the powers of both Edea and Ultimecia. We're hoping dr. Odine might know a solution to this problem."

"And miss Heartilly, where is she?" Laguna asked. Suddenly he realized what the boy was saying. _Ultimecia?_ Wasn't she suppose to be dead. Was it starting all over again? He had thought this would be _the_ occasion to have a talk with Squall, to sort things out he should have done 17 years ago. Ellone would also be so happy to see him, he knew her only chance to start a life of her own would be when she stopped feeling guilty about what happened in Winhill all these years ago. _Ellone_? Oh my God, Ellone could be in danger then. And Rinoa, wouldn't she be in danger as well. _Was Squall possessed?_

Squall looked away. "I don't know where she is, but I believe it's for the best if her location remains unknown."

"I think you should see Odine in his lab then, I'll notify him that you'll be coming. Oh yeah, you don't mind me coming right, this kinda got me worried big time."

"Sure, whatever."

***

Squall walked behind everyone, looking around at Esthar's remarkable architection. Even though he had come here several times, Esthar's advanced technology always seemed to leave him in awe. But considering he grew up in places like the orphanage and Balamb Garden, his fascination of this fantasy-like city wasn't that strange to be considered. Laguna's page directed them to the round-shaped elevator in the middle of the road. Quistis, Irvine and Selphie went first, as the elevator could only carry three persons at a time. Laguna, who had refused to go with the presidential elevator, seated on the next together with Squall. The floor underneath them began to glow as the elevator lifted and sized trough the tube-like roads. Both of them remained silent as they passed by Esthar's flashy buildings. 

Laguna felt awkward, sitting next to Squall, the son he had abandoned for so many years, silently. He had so much to tell him, so much he needed to get off his chest, but yet he couldn't get a decent word out of his throat. He was meaning to ask him, how he has been over the years, the question he didn't get the opportunity to ask before, when he hired them to defeat Ultimecia. Speaking of that, what a hell of a job has he done. Surely he had help of his friends, but it was the courage and the mental strength he had seen within Squall's metal-blue eyes that pulled them trough the hole thing, that saved world from a fatal damnation. But another feeling crept up to him, a feeling he despised more than he despised himself, the feeling of guilt. Yes, knowing that he had sent Squall, his own flesh and blood after the most disastrous sorceress in the history of the future and past. The feeling that he could have lost him before he even had him. 

"Hey, we're here," he heard Squall's voice say. He snapped his thoughts back to the present and watched Squall standing there impatiently with his hands resting on his hips.

"Oh yeah, got lost in the dreamworld I guess," he said smiling as he got up and walked in front of Squall towards the lab's entrance.

Dreamworld. Squall thought of how Ellone used to take them to that irresistible dreamstate, or as they would say, the dreamworld. What was it almost a year ago when he first got dozed and was shipped off the Laguna's highly intellectual mind. Time went fast. To think they were trying to fight time itself, while it was so far behind them and even more farther ahead of them. Amazing, how well they got out of it's struggle, that they had outlived it's swifts and twists, what was even more remarkable is that they managed to return to theirs, without changing the past or the future. That they managed to find eachtother.

They both entered the lab, and Squall noticed that the rest of his team were already waiting for Laguna and him. A short man, an unmistakable stereotypical kind of scientist, dressed in Esthar's style approached him. Squall glanced down at him to meet his curious look.

"Ah, zere is ze szudy-object," Odine said as a greet, as he curiously sized him up.

"We've already explained the matter to him," said Quistis.

"And, do you know what you can do about it?" Squall asked.

"It iz not like I have a pozion for zis. I muzt examine you and have a few anzwers firzt."

"Sure, fire away." Squall said.

Odine turned to the others standing in his lab. "Can I be alone wiz him, I can not ztudy him vhen everybody iz here."

Everyone nodded and left the room. Squall turned to Odine again.

"Tell me vhaz happened?"

Squall sighed and told everything over again. Of how he heard the ice-cold voice in the infirmary, how he became so fascinated in Rinoa's powers, his mysterious feelings of rage. He told him everything he could tell and tried his best to answer Odine's questions. His mind cleared up a bit, knowing that maybe there would be an happy end to all this.

Odine was vigorously writing everything down in his notebook. After aimlessly examining things of minor value this past six months, he was agitated now that he was a part of something big again. He had to use a brain-detector to have a full insight how this was processed in the boy's head. 

He motioned Squall to take place on a dentist-like chair and to take off his shirt. Squall glanced suspiciously at the machine hanging above the chair. Millions of wires hang loose around the cubic-like metal box with numerous buttons on it.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to the machine.

"Zat izt ze brain-dezeczor, it will regizter unusual ztimulations from your brain."

Squall placed his gunblade aside and took off his jacket and shirt and seated, though with some reluctance. "Don't you try something," he warned him.

Odine just nodded and placed a metal helmet-like machine on his head and pulled the machine down to right above his head. He snapped on a screen to follow the process.

"You zoon will be azleep,"he assured Squall, "Iz vill not be long." And after what seemed five minutes Squall finally dozed off and the light buttons on the machine came to live. The screen showed a 3-d scale model of his brains and different colors to mark different fields of brain stimulation. All the while Odine watched this in fascination.

After a while Odine turned away from the screen with a pensive look on his face. There was something not right here. Sorceresses didn't just come back from the dead, not without help. And then there was this time-issue. Ultimecia was from the future, how did she managed to get stuck in this time. Even though everything in this boy's story seem to be believable at first, his instinct supported with 30 years of experience as a scientist specialized in sorceresses, told him that there was something not logic there. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something fishy about this, and it could be of a vital importance. 

He gazed back at the screen. The parameters were standard, but there was something strange here. Even though his brain showed no signs of the presence of a force from outside. But it did however show all the signs he had seen in the last case he examined, that of sorceresses Rinoa. And her statistics had been quite unusual, obviously there had been an alien mind controlling her brains. Her body-functions weren't controlled by stimulations coming from the brain, but another force that wasn't inside the body itself, stimulated the body-functions. The brain became actually useless, it didn't do anything. If his theory was right, sorceress Rinoa couldn't have felt or thought anything. With Squall it was the same thing, but he wasn't controlled or there was no signs of outside forces, however there was indeed a force _inside_ his mind. And that was what disturbed him, he was manipulated by a force in his mind and that was something he never came across in his entire science career. There was another thing, he thought as he studied the screen more carefully. The waves were changing rapidly, from over one side to another, like oil drifting around the surface of water and it was growing, fast even.

Now he knew, he was mistaken, Squall was indeed controlled, by a force inside of him, leaving the brain useless like it was with sorceress Rinoa. Odine's eyes widened as a thought suddenly crossed his mind. If a human brain was left inactive for a long period of time, it would paralyze and eventually die out. So, that would mean that if this force was left to continue manifesting itself in his brain, Squall eventually die out and seeing the pace in which this force developed itself, he gave him thirty days at the most.

[Author's note: The reason why Squall's acting so neutral towards Laguna is that they never had that talk in the Ragornak, when Kiros remarks that he kinda looks like his mother. I've never seen that conversation as I was eager to finish the story, so Squall didn't have that talk either. That's why Laguna needs to tell him now, as there wasn't a chance to do it earlier. It wouldn't have made sense anyway, Laguna ordering his child to fight till he drops and pays him for that and vaguely adding that he is his father, leaving the poor boy in confusion, besides his other problems. I don't refer in this story to things I haven't experienced myself in the game (so no specific card gaming (man that was a hard thing, I've only played it once and I lost, so I never bothered to do it again), no Omega beating (or the Ultima Weapon, I've had this unwritten rule, Never fight unless you really have to. I know, but I get scared easily, and with all this wicked monsters out there….*shivers*…anyway, I only play because I can go on with the story), unless I eventually do that)]


	3. 3 - The choices we make

[Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Squaresoft. All you probably can sue me for is writing a bad story, and I on my turn will sue Squaresoft for making FF8, which forced me to write, despite my writing skills, or should I say the lack of it. I hate disclaimers.]

The choices we make

A young man stood on the edge of a cliff , punished by life and destiny, accused by an unseen jury of dreaming and wanting to be more than what destiny had in store for him, he was now banned from the world. Banned from life among others, banned from his ideals and banned from what he thought was reality. For one so young he had lived too long and too much. His young soul filled with experiences meant for an old depraved one. Destiny's cruel twist swayed him away from fortune and fame and left him behind on this forgotten cliff, not having anything else to do but to look down at the world. Here, high up in the mountains, life down there seemed small and far away. And for the first time in his life he wished he was a part of the moving little dots in the distance, instead of being up here in darkness. All his life he wished people would look up to him and they eventually did, but he was now so high up that he wasn't more than a vague figure in the mountain mist, invisible for a mortal's eye. 

The midnight wind howled over the tops of Galbadia's rash mountains, crying along with his hurt soul who was shedding invisible tears. Fate, nothing but a traitor, siding with both enemy and friend, had placed him in this place. Would he give in to its content and grief over its decision? No, he would not. No matter how he just wanted to give up and give in, he could not. It would be out of his character and that was the last thing he wanted to happen. If he didn't get a realization of his dream, at least he would still be the person who dreamt that fateful dream. The same person he used to be. 

__

Used to be? 

He _still_ was the same. He was still the strong warrior, broken in pieces but still visible. And it was time to stop this self-pity nonsense, before it would get a hold of him, and start gluing the pieces together to what it was before, the strong and unbreakable Seifer.

A woman stared at the lonely figure who was walking towards the edge of the cliff, from behind a tree, the comfort of night embracing her in darkness and hiding her from his view. He held still to overlook the world underneath him, thrusting his hands deep in the pockets of his trench-coat, who was floating behind him in the midnight air, the wind playfully brushing its fingers through his locks. He stood there, unaware of any spectators, seeing invisible images in the air. 

He seemed familiar, as if she had seen him somewhere before. Why was she standing here anyway? As she was walking in the dark plains, towards the only city in her reach, she had seen this figure hastily walking up a mountain path. Driven by curiosity and the absence of other duties, she had gone after him, but there was something in her conscious, which told her to try to be out his sight. He had started to climb up higher as the path ended and she of course climbed along. And now she was still standing here behind a tree, watching this stranger. What did she expect to see here then? Her mind failing her in giving her an answer to this question, she started to think again of what this man reminded her, when she saw him suddenly stepping a little closer to edge. In a sudden fit of worry she yelled and ran forward to pull him back by his coat. In her sudden action he misplaced his steps on some loosened rocks, making him fall over the edge. In a reflex she grabbed his hand before he could fall off in the distance below.

For a second they froze there in that position. His feet dangling down and with her arm as his only life-line and her kneeling on the rocky floor desperately trying to hold unto him. She stared at his familiar face in amazement and forgot for a moment the situation they were in, he too seemed to be shocked as he recognized her. But he recovered fast.

"Pull me up damnit" he snapped.

His words making her come back to her senses, she started to pull. She was trying her best here. The least he could do was give her a little support, he wasn't exactly what you called light as a feather. 

"I can't do it alone, you have to pull yourself up" 

He groaned with displeasure and placed his feet on the rocks, as Rinoa pulled him up. After what seemed an eternity she managed to pull him over the edge and due to his weight he landed on top of her.

"What the hell were you thinking, kill me? There are easier ways to do so," he hissed, glaring at her.

Heavily breathing he lay there for a while on top of her, as he thought of what just happened. He was almost gone before he was alive again. Life could flash away in an instance, before you even got the chance to live it to the fullest. She looked at girl under him. And then her, the last person he expected to see here. He felt her chest moving under his and through the beating of his own heart, he heard hers. Even though he tried to deny it, it actually felt comfortable being this close to a woman again, the same woman.

"Get of me Seifer," she said, as she pushed him off her, he landed not so soft on his back. "Don't forget I just saved your miserable life."

Still lying there on the rocks, he glanced up at her as she stood up to dust off her clothes with angry gestures. What was she doing so high up in the mountains anyway? Spying on him? Her lovebird Squally probably sent her to check up on the knight of failure, to see if he wasn't up to something fishy again.

"If that's how you save a guy, I wouldn't want to be around when you try to kill one," he remarked sardonically. 

"I tried, remember?"

Yeah she did, didn't she. And he on his turn would have killed her without feeling any remorse. But that didn't happen and she didn't succeed either. At first he had been really suprised she would fight him, that she sided with the black mercenary, following his foolish purposes, after what they had together. Of course he wasn't in love or that kinda cliched nonsense, but he did however considered their time together in Timber, two summers ago, a pleasant one. If he was honest he had found it more than pleasant. It had felt . . . . right. Yes, everything seemed in place and he even did stupid things like walking in the August-rain and stealing cherries from a garden with her. And he even liked it, for a moment a future SeeD career and the Garden life wasn't the only thing which occupied him. For a moment she too had a place in his mind.

"What did you want to save me from then?" he asked, ignoring her remark. He stood up too, straightening the collar of his coat, as he watched her and waited for her response.

She paused before giving an answer. "Well, for a second there, I thought that you might . . well, it wouldn't have been so strange now, seen all the things which had happened last year. But . . "

He narrowed his eyes to get a closer look at her in the in the dark. "What are you babbling about?" But suddenly the expression in his face changed, as a thought just crossed his mind. "You didn't mean that you thought that I was trying to jump off that cliff."

She turned away from him. A laugh climbed up in his throat, showing first a small grin on his face. But soon it widened in a smile and not much later tears of laughter slid down his cheeks. The deep sound of his sincere laughter filled the silent midnight air, the forests silencing, while wondering who it was who dared to disturb them from their sleep. Despite the fact he couldn't see her face, he knew she was blushing like hell. Seifer, the former knight, throwing himself off a cliff like some kind of a desperate melodramatic b-actor. 

Suddenly the laugh on his face froze. Well, maybe that was exactly how everyone saw him. A weak-hearted being, with no emotional will. Defeated and without a purpose. Did she see him like that too? It wouldn't have been strange _now, _she said_. _Now that she knew it was Seifer who might commit suicide. He was desperate afterall, defeated, deprived from any dignity. Of course he would kill himself. What else does he have left in this world? And what made it all the worse was that he actually had thought of leaving all this mess behind him, false promises, illusion fame and fortune. Not to have anything more on his mind, not to worry anymore. Just to go off to where no one was to follow him, where there were no Squall's to steal dreams, while fighting without a purpose and bringing down those who did have a purpose. Where there were no friends to betray him, where there were no exciles anymore.

But what she had just said was a major wake-up call for him. So that was what everyone expected huh? Well, he would make sure that everything but their expectations would come true. Even though he was defeated, slain and humiliated, he would resurrect again. Even if he didn't do it for himself, he would at least not give _them_ the satisfaction of thinking they had broke him. Nor the pleasure of pitying him.

"I'm sorry for the disillusion, but I'm no where near suicidal," he said calmly, smirking to hide away his displeasure. 

She turned to him. "I see that now, maybe you should be. Meany, I was just thinking about your safety."

It was a long time he had heard her say that. Meany, that was how she would call him, whenever he refused her something. Now it would be Squall who would called meany, he felt that the thought made him feel uncomfortable.

"You didn't even know that it was me, if you did you'd probably even help me do it."

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. What use would it have, maybe he was right. She did fight him after all, she tried to kill him, like he wanted to kill her. People change, situations change_, feelings change_. She knew that more than anyone. She reminded herself that he wasn't the Seifer she met that summer, he wasn't just a boy hanging out with a girl anymore. He had become an army leader fighting the world. Sad really, how things changed without a warning. Now she wished she hadn't involved in all this from the beginning. That she hadn't met Seifer, Garden and _him . . . . _

"What are you doing here anyway?" Seifer asked, when she didn't respond. 

Was she really so sorry about everything to even think of that? To whish she never met him? A couple of months ago she wouldn't even have dreamt of having to leave all that. Had things really changed that much to make her leave everything behind her. Did it? Couldn't she just have tried to talk things out, to see what was hidden beneath. Was it bad of her to give up without a fight?

"Don't tell me you've been so much around Squally, that you've even become like him," Seifer remarked sarcastically.

She looked up at his words. _Squall?_ How long was it since she heard his name spoken out loud? Shaking her head she turned and ran down the mountain path, she wouldn't cry in front of this man. Wasn't she done crying yet? Did she still have tears left? Wasn't her body already drained out from sorrow and hurt? Probably not, the burning viscous tears were now trailing their down her cheeks. She ran faster through the forest, not even aware of the monsters who were following her with their hungry eyes. Blinded by tears she did not see the dead branch lying across the path, until her foot suddenly slipped under, making her fall flat on her chest. With this sudden movement, her mind snapped back to reality, away from thoughts of Squall and back to the dark mountain forest. She heard footsteps coming closer, when she looked up she saw Seifer standing in front of her, extending his gloved hand. A smile broke through her tears and she reached out to grab his hand.

*******

"Ok, this is basically the plan. If the sorceress in Squall wants to regain Rinoa's power, by taking her body over. Then we'll let her do so. But Rinoa would be within our reach, thus giving us the chance immediately sealing her powers. Odine then will force her out of Rinoa. And by that Ultimecia would finally be dead. Her body is already dead, and her spirit will follow soon, it will be over in an instant," Laguna explained.

"That is not an option, it's too risky," Squall snapped. "Forget it, there must be another way."

Laguna sighed, this kid was a hard one to get through. For the past half hour they were trying to convince him that the presence of Rinoa might make a difference. But he was just as stubborn as his mother had been. "Squall, this plan of Odine seems like a good idea. If Ultimecia wants it this way, we will beat her at her own game. We let her take over Rinoa, and after that we seal Rinoa, so Odine's got the time to kick Ultimecia out of her head. Simple, right?"

"No."

Quistis had watched this entire conversation silently, desperately trying to hold back her tears. Everyone seemed to be talking at once when they all got the news. That Squall, their courageous leader, their friend, would be dead in a month. Presenting this fact with indifference, Odine had told them what was wrong with him. What the voice in his head would eventually do to him. But his nonchalance didn't fool her, in his eyes she had seen the excitement, agitation over a new study-object, a new scientific breakthrough, he was just an object, just another life, just Squall.

But it wasn't just Squall damnit! It was her friend, her silent lover, her exalted savior who wouldn't be there anymore. It wasn't just another life, as if it wouldn't matter to the world. It should, they all should think about the horror that might occur in a month. The world had everything to loose with his death, they had Squall to loose. Why him? Why had a person so pure in character to go through all this, when others who were much lesser in heart, went through life without a thing to worry about. The scoundrels were suppose to die, not hero's. Hero were suppose to live happily ever after with their heroines in a world devoid of hurt and sorrow. Even if she wasn't the heroine in this story. They should be with the women they loved and not separated from her and lying on his deathbed. But this wasn't a story, was it? This wasn't just a game, this was a never ending viscous circle called life. A world without an end and the beginning only left to imagine.

"Squall, you should let Odine carry out this plan of his," Quistis finally spoke calmly, without looking up. Everyone in the room silenced. "I couldn't liv- . . . I mean . . . I cannot let you give up this fight . . . whatever you said to her, she will understand. Odine and President Laguna wouldn't let her do this if they didn't think it was safe . . "

"Well, zere are no guaranteez zis will vork, or zat soceress Rinoa vont die in ze process," Odine added.

A shadow stole over his face, as Squall listened to him. "Never, there is no way I will do this. I'm sorry, there has to be some other way. I will never agree with that, never, no matter what you all say."

So he would die then, right? Sacrifice his life for the only one he had ever loved, the only one who had earned herself the privilege of accessing his thoughts. Loving her so much that the thought would never cross his mind, that he wouldn't even give a try for it. Was he allowed to make that decision alone? It wasn't just his life, was it? It was hers too, Irvine's, Selphie's, Zell's and it also was that of Rinoa. Rinoa, even though she had left, she still loved him. She was sure. Quistis was never the one to give up without a fight, even if he did, she would never. She would fight till her last breath. She was trained to fight injustice, then this was what she had to do. She would battle fate's injustice, defy its being, slay its twisting grip on life. She would do everything if it would keep him alive.

She knew Squall, she knew that he would do anything for everything he stood for, once he had made up his mind it would take the world to change that. Like him, she had made her mind up too, she wouldn't let him go without a fight. And if his life lay in Rinoa's hands, then Rinoa's hands she would bring to him.

*******

Artica stared at the old man standing before him. The viscous lines of time engraved in his weary face, his motions had become slower, not much for most to notice, but enough for him to do. His voice was deeper, more uncontrollable and more unheard. The old general stood there, trying to hide the distrust and disgust in his eyes. After all these years Artica finally saw that the integrity that most people in him had admired had vanished, he was trying to be in his good books now, adjusting to his standards. There was no evidence left of his pride and his famous arrogance. Artica saw in his eyes that the general knew this too and that it was killing him, a fact which filled him with pleasure.

"So, what will you do with this kid then?" he heard him ask.

Artica chuckled. "Nothing that will be of an interest to you. But I guess you'd be more interested in something else, let's talk about the only sorceress of this era, sorceress Rinoa."

"No," the old man snapped, suprising Artica with this sudden outburst. "You will never hurt my little girl, you hear me. By Hyne's thunder you will not come near her, not as long as there's air in my lungs."

"Keep this going and there won't be any soon," Artica said with an ice-cold voice. "You're forgetting who's in charge now, Galbadia is mine now, for all that matters to you, I'm basically the God of Galbadia. You are here to answer _my _questions. So, where is this little girl of yours hanging out nowadays. Last thing I heard was that she was meddling with those SeeDs from Balamb Garden."

The general glared at him but not speaking a word. A viscous grin broke onto Artica's face as he grabbed the old man by his collar and punched him across the face. Clenching his teeth, refusing to scream out the pain, he fell to the floor. With a malicious smile Artica pulled a handkerchief out of his chest-pocket to rub off the blood on his knuckles.

"Never mind, I know she's there in Garden. I've heard that the commander of Garden grew very fond of my little cousin."

The general glared up at him from the floor, while trying to get up with his sore back. "Please, I'll do anything, don't . . . "

" . . . kill her?" Artica interrupted him, "Why not? Why not kill her like you killed my sister?"

*************

"Are you sure this is a good thing?" Zell asked Quistis, who was gazing at out of the window with a determent expression on her face.

"Yes, it's the only thing I've been sure about in my entire life," she replied, turning her glance to the usual elated blonde boy who's eyes were now darkened by worry. "Yes Zell, it's our obligation."

"Hm, just don't feel good sneaking away like this," Irvine added. What if Squall got angry with them? What if it was wrong to bring Rinoa? He had spent this last few days thinking about this entire situation. It seemed as if everything just came out of the sky, so sudden. Fate at least could have given a warning, instead of smashing this in their faces all of a sudden.

"I don't feel good too, but we have to . . .I . . have to," Quistis said with a sigh. Some strands of blonde hair escaped from her tight serious knot, caught his attention. Normally she would have waved them back into her knot, maybe wanting in her subconscious to present a perfect picture. He used to tease her with this habit of hers. Searching her face he saw the slight difference most would not notice. He saw a simmering fire in her eyes. A resolution which he had never seen before. Looking at her weary worn face he just realized that her feelings for Squall weren't over, instead they have grown by the thought of losing him. 

"You still love him, don't you," he said, more as a statement than a question. "You always did." Quistis looked up, as if she was shocked that he knew. Looking around if any of the others were listening she said, "Of course I do, don't you?"

"No, not the way you do. I'm not into men, you see," he said with a grin.

She pushed him aside, as she went towards the elevator, bringing her downstairs. Without hesitating he ran after her, downstairs he saw her leaning to a door-post, with her back towards him.

He grabbed her by her elbow to turn her around. "I'm sorry Quisty . . ." he stopped as he saw something in her eyes which he never expected to see, _tears_. Qusitis, the cold Quistis who never showed any emotion, was crying. Her baby-blue eyes full tears meant for Squall. He pulled her to his chest in an embrace, while stroking her hair, he mumbled some unintelligible words to comfort her, as she continued sobbing. 

"Yes, I do love him. I'm so afraid Irvine," she muttered through her tears, "I'm terribly afraid. What if he dies, he can't die, right? Tell me he won't."

"He won't Quistis, not as long as we are here to prevent that."

"Am I stupid, acting so weak for one who does not need my tears but a chance of life, which I cannot give him."

No, she wasn't. If there was anyone he knew to be strong and integer, than it would have been Quistis, along with Squall. He realized she would die for him, give everything up for the one she loved. Like Squall would do the same for Rinoa. 

" You know Quisty, you can give him life," he said, "maybe we all will be able to save him. Remember I support you to the fullest here. I'll go where ever you'll go with this. I'll follow my big sister everywhere."

Quistis pulling herself back. While removing the tears with the back of her hand, she smiled at Irvine. "Thanks Irvine, but I guess we have to set our destination for now."

"Any idea on where to go?"

"I was thinking about Deling City, we could go see her father," she said. Irvine nodded. Maybe he knew where his daughter was. But he still couldn't shake this feeling of foreboding out. That there was somethingThe feeling that he didn't know all that was going on, filled him with unrest.

Qusitis turned to him before she pressed the up-button on the elevator. "You won't tell what just happened, right?"

He smiled, placing an arm on her shoulder. "What will I get in return? Perhaps a little kiss and I won't tell anyone."

She smiled, "you're impossible."

"Impossible for seeking the possible?"

"Impossible for seeking that which you can't get."

"Aahh, I love cryptical women. Now whaddya say?"

With a grin she pulled his arm away and pressed the button. "Maybe, one day, when we get out of all this," she whispered.

*************

He couldn't blame them for their incomprehension nor their hurt. Because he understood it. He had been through that himself numerous times. He knew what it was like, that the world didn't understand him. He was feeling like that right now. Did they think he didn't want to see her again? To tell her he was sorry. Didn't they know how many times he wished that would happen. 

Sighing he overlooked the great fantasy city strechting out underneath his balcony. The streetlamps lighting the empty streets. No one dared to walk around at night anymore, more and more young citizens decided to leave Esthar, locked up in a city of monsters terrorizing their social lives was probably the limit. Taking advantage of Esthar's decision to be an open state, they all fled to more calmer places. 

That was just how humans were. The soon things went the way they weren't used to, they run. Leaving those behind who still want to give it a try. Until even they decide to seek for places more comfortable. If everyone was like this than who the hell was fighting for this world. Who were dying in an unappreciated war?

Squall heard a knock on the door behind him. Without turning around he reluctantly called the late visitor in. Probably Quistis or someone else trying to make him change his mind. But the heavy footsteps weren't that of Quistis, when he turned he saw President Laguna standing behind him in the room, with a sheepish grin on his face. 

"Why are you here in the dark like some kinda vampire or something?" he asked.

Squall shrugged. "I assume you didn't come here to talk about the lights."

Laguna smiled, stepping on to the balcony, he leant against the railing with his back, crossing his arms in front of his chest, deeply inhaling the fresh midnight air. Squall watched him while wondering what he had to say. It felt strange being around him, this man had effected his life so much, in a way it was partly because of him he had become what he was today. For the love of Laguna Ellone had decided to change Squall's live forever, even though he still wasn't pleased about it, he understood it now. Now there he was, the Laguna he heard so much about, he knew him before he had even met him. Squall still didn't think highly of him, but he understood him. Despite the fact he was a moron, he had managed to save an entire country. He had fought for the live of Sis, protecting her when he wasn't capable of doing so. For that alone Laguna deserved his respect. 

"Squall, how have you been. I mean, had life been hard on you?" Laguna asked suddenly.

__

What is this? Life? Why does he want to know? 

"Why do you want to know?" he inquired, voicing his thoughts.

Laguna grinned, shyly moving a strand of hair out his face. "I'm just curious, you seem like you've gone through so much, more than a kid of your age is suppose to."

He shrugged. "It's nothing special, I don't blame life. What happened, happened because of people and their actions. The choices people made were hard. The choice of my birth-parents to leave me, the choice to be in Garden, the choice of Ultimecia to turn against the world. Those are the choices which made me into what I am. So life nor destiny are to be blamed, since both merely are consequences of people's choices."

Squall didn't notice Laguna flinch at his words, as he turned his back to him to gaze at the stars above his head. Destiny wasn't the one controlling him, was it? He wasn't reading a script, their were no stage directions given, he wasn't just taking a role on a stage called life, right? It couldn't be that everything he went through was written in the same stars which had brightened up the lives of so many people, the same stars who were now shining exclusively for his eyes to watch. Yes, his life was just a consequence of choices, including his own. Life didn't just _happen_ to him, he refused to think of himself as a victim when he was a culprit too. 

"Just tell me when you're back," Laguna said ligheartedly.

Squall turned absent-mindly at his remark. "What?"

"Never mind, you sound so wise, you probably had a lot of practicing during all the time you spend thinking. But the reason why I came here was I . . . I wanted to make sure you were absolutely sure about your decision. I kinda hoped you would change your mind about Odine's plan."

Squall glared at him. "Never," was his short response.

Laguna smiled. "I wonder what it's like, what it's like to have such power and strength to make a descion like that. To be able to put other before yourself with all the confidence and courage you have. To do that without fearing for yourself."

"Don't make me in something I'm not," Squall said, he paused. He wasn't a God without fear. He was afraid, afraid of this sudden change in his life. To fight sorceress he could handle, leading an army too. But to be a treat himself, to have others fear him and abandon him for the second time, that was something he tried not to think of. 

"Courage is not the absence of fear," he said, while looking at the stars, "but the judgement that something else is more important."

*************

[I've managed to write a chapter in which basically nothing happens, doesn't that show my talent. Sorry once again for the grammar/ spelling errors, I'm Dutch 'nuff said.]


	4. 4 - Für Julia

****

Changing Faces

[First of all I'd like to thank all the people who read the previous chapters and my special thanks goes out to those who shared their opinions with me, either in review, e-mail, real life etc. Thank you and I lurve you, this chapter is dedicated to you guyz].

Fur Julia 

"President are you sure for appointing the general to his former position?" 

Jules nodded, not turning around to look at the man standing behind him. He leant against the only desk in the presidential room, facing the window. The stars once again colored the face of heaven in a bright sparkling white. He wondered if they had sparkled when his beloved sister was screaming for her life, did they shine as bright in all their beauty, when she exhaled her last breath of life, disregardless of the misery of a young beauty.

"How will he plan an attack against the Garden, the place where his own daughter resides, without backing up on us?"

Julia, how could he ever repay him back? With the life death had taken, he condemned not only her soul to the Hell of oblivion but his as well. Though he was still alive, it would take a lot to convince him of the illusion he had a reason to breath. But he had to, finish this one last mission in the name of an angel. 

A grin broke unto his face. History was repeating itself, Loire, Caraway, and it would end the same, this time when they were the ones who had everything to loose. His dark almond shaped brown eyes lit up when he thought of he'd give the old general his last chance to do what he loved the most, killing innocent people, this time it would be his own daughter. 

"He won't, trust me," Artica replied. "I have all confidence in our most appraised general. Do you consider your questioned answered? The man nodded, though he lacked the confidence, like the rest of the government.

Jules knew this, but it didn't matter if they trusted him or not. He wasn't going to stay president for long anyway. Leaving the man standing without as much as a greet, he went out of the door. He needed fresh air, the small office room was suffocating. It brought back memories of narrow chambers, rats willing to eat you alive, darkness. Gasping he made his way out, gratefully inhaling the fresh evening air. The gentle evening breeze stroked his heated face. He decided to take a stroll through his new kingdom.

As Jules Artica was walking in the dim park, he noticed the statue of Vinzer Deling in the middle of the park. Seeming as if he was looking down at the late visitors. This was the kind of man Deling was, flamboyant and conceited. And that was what caused his downfall. He had been so busy with himself, that he took no notice on what was going on around him. He never stood a chance against the sorceress. 

But with him, things were different. He never cared for people to like him, he never wanted them to admire him. He was the one to observe others, after years of practicing he had developed a great sense of judgement. He was not going to be the one to be tricked now, not now he had come this far. 

The elections had been a laugh. In Galbadia there was no such thing as an election. Money, power and manipulation were the keys to success.

He looked around in the park, the Deling City came to live as soon as the sun made way for the moon and stars. As the artificial lights were turned on, the people awoke from their sleep to avoid day. The usually empty streets were now slowly filling with people wandering through the city.

As he overlooked his empire, he felt nothing. Not the power rush he had expected, not the content, not the satisfaction of his needs. A total emptiness. Just a deep lingering feeling of incompleteness. He knew why. He still hadn't gotten his satisfaction, he still wasn't anywhere. All the money in the world was at his disposal, the world lay at his feet, the people admired their new president. 

But money was just a piece of paper, a serie insignificant numbers, power was just an idea, admiration was just a vain thought. All this was just a means to a goal.

Unlike the thought people wanted to give him since his presidency, that he now was a man of power. With the might to control the world if he pleased. But what did the world mean to him, nothing, not a single thing. The world was just a pile of earth admired by ignorance. Life was just a sequence of inhaling and exhaling. It didn't mean a thing, except when you _gave_ it a meaning.

What _was his_ meaning? For a long time he thought there wasn't any for him, that he was forced to live this viscous life until death decided in his mercy to take him along. Where he was buried deep in earth to be forgotten about in time.

Maybe that was still was the meaning of life. But there was also a deeper side to it. Another life involved his. It was this life attached to his, which made him inhale the air once more. A purpose in life. She was his purpose, her tears was his purpose, her misery was his purpose, her love was his purpose, her death was his purpose.

It was all for Julia.

************

Of parents he had never known, the word sounded as alien to him as any other local Trabian tongue. The closest he got to parental care, was the loving arms of his sister around him, the tears in her eyes when he used to disappear for days on end, the forced anger in her voice when she punished him. She gave him the only thing he would have ever needed, the security that when he went to sleep she would be there when he woke up. Though they used to stay in what could be called an orphanage, he did not recall anybody else taking up the task of taking care of him other than her. Almost immediately upon the entering she had claimed him as her brother. She must have been at the tender age of thirteen when they had cast her out of the orphanage with him. Their care takers never bothered to give him a family name. That day when they had left the orphanage, she christened him Heartilly like her and armed with nine years more in wisdom she had took him along in her journey of survival. 

From one dirty cheap motel to another, they had roamed the world for nine years in search for a better life, they eventually ended up in Deling City. School had not been an option, she had just made enough money to go through one day at the time. There was usually nothing he could do but stay indoors as she went out to work during the day. But at night things were different, she became his friend again, she used to crawl against him, resting her head on his lap, watching the cracks in the ceiling and she would talk about better times. Her tales could convince his young cloudy mind of the wealth that lay before them, the happiness that was just around the corner.

"You will reach all that you wish for, my love," she used to say, "we are forever!"

She got a job in the fancy Galbadia Hotel as a waitress. He too got a job at thirteen, being nine years younger than she was, he still earned a lot less than her. One day she came rushing through the door from work and wrapped her arms around his neck and danced with him around the room, her eyes moist with tears of excitement and her laughter drained in utter happiness. Over the years he had grown much taller than her, his pre-mature body steadily changing into that of a man. He picked her up and without having the slightest idea why, he cried with her, laughed with her, danced with her. If Julia was happy, he was happy, the world was happy and all the other things didn't matter. That was his philosophy.

"I'm going to play the piano," she exclaimed, "We're going to be rich, my love. The world will now be yours if you want!

Yes, the piano. Her other passion, besides him. Her first introduction to this enchanting instrument was in the orphanage. It was an old wooden thing, who was far out of tone. But that did not matter of course, there was nothing Julia's slender delicate fingers could not turn into magic. After they were sent away, she would not play for the years to follow, not until she got that job in Galbadia Hotel, nine years later.

After she as done cleaning and closing up, she would reach for the piano and almost very immediately she had picked up the rhythm of playing. Sometimes she would let him sneak in to listen to her play. Sinking into the large comfortable sofa's he would envision heaven as a sequence of angelic tones, accompanied by Julia's songs of love. Long serenades meant exclusively for his ears.

Her chef had heard play in the darkness, she thinking herself to be safe and alone in the isolation of her heavenly music. Years of experience had taught him to recognize talent as it came, and talented Julia was. He hired her immediately, to fill in the gaps between the acts.

The public, mostly consisting out of generals, soldiers or any other military involved guests, was not satisfied with this and very soon she became the headliner of the evening.

Not long after her debut she gathered a small group of admirers, which grew rapidly in size. He was very well aware of these men and what they wanted of her. Julia was an unsurpassed beauty. He had noticed how the hungry eyes followed the dancing rhythm of her long shimmering silky hair whenever she moved, her tender yet feminine body moved through a room with such grace that it could fool one's eyes in thinking her to fly. He was more aware of her beauty than any other.

The men used to send her presents, first little things, flowers, champagne, afterwards more expensive things such as jewels made of rare materials. Julia treasured these gifts, though not of vanity. To her it was a symbol of their promising future together and a farewell to their past.

He too had grown into a tall handsome young man himself at the age of fifteen, with a great resemblance to his beloved sister. His length, strength and passion to protect his sister, kept the men on a distance. For years he had wished to be into this position of being able to keep Julia from the harm a world without scruples could do to a young goddess such as her.

An entire year they enjoyed the luxury of safety of a home and all the other comforts that accompanied the fancy suit in the prestigious Galbadian hotel. Every night he would come down to sit in one of the very first tables closest to the stage and listen to her play. She did not sing, not on the stage for forty guests. But to him she would, when they were alone in our suit, together curled up in her bed, under the warm blankets with crisping sound of the fire in the background, she would sing of familiar songs, her voice surpassing any of its originals.

But after some time, he noticed a slight change in Julia. Invisible for most, but not for her little brother who worshipped every vein in her body. When she played, she would play as though there was no one in the tiny little bar, but her and her beloved J. He would drink every tone that came from her fingers, like a thirsting desert wanderer would drink fresh sprinkling water from a fount. But her plays changed, the creative innovations changed into routine, as if her mind was drifted off to somewhere else.

She used to eye him sometimes from behind the piano, glancing at him with smile that could only be understood between the two of them. But lately she would not even notice him. Something was distracting her attention. At first he did not think much of it, but as it continued he became more and more wary. But he himself never noticed anything peculiar in the bar.

When they were back in their room, she could not wait until her next performances. The unfamiliar eagerness and nervousity roused his suspicions. Of course he asked her straight away if something bothered her or if she wanted to talk to him about something, but she would say nothing was wrong.

It was that night when everything had become very clear. She came walking into the bar, wearing a red dress of a exquisite making, her raven hair hanging loose around her shoulders in waterfalls of darkness. Taking place on the black little stool, she prepared herself for her play. The gasps of awe from several men was nothing unfamiliar, though there were only ten people present in the entire bar, due to some military event which required most of the loyal customers time. But a party of three soldiers caught his attention, they sat across the room, gazing at Julia. The one in the middle was very silent and seemed to be musing about Julia, judging by the look on his face. His two companions nudged him, probably challenging him to a dare or of something of the sort. He had seen many of similar actions, bored soldiers challenging each other to win the interest of the infamous piano player, Julia. But none of them really took the dare.

To his sincere suprise, the young man in the middle stood up. He was tall, even taller than him. A handsome young man, some long dark strands of hair escaped from the pony-tail, concealing part of his face. He was dressed in a regular Galbadian soldier's uniform. He walked away from the table towards the stage. His movement carried a sense of nervousity. Just as he started to climb the two little steps to the stage Julia was playing her heavenly music, he grabbed his knee with both hands, as to prevent himself from falling. He stumbled back to his comrades, though his leg seemed to have refuse to co-operate. The mocking laughter from his friends was nothing suprising.

But all the while he had noticed how Julia had followed the young clumsy soldier with her dark mesmerizing eyes. She even missed some crucial notes when he collapsed unto his knee. It seemed as if she knew him. Full of doubts and suspicions he stood up before she even reached half of her song and back to their room. He locked himself up in his part of the suite, something which he had not done before, to think. A despicable feeling of fright crept up to him, but he would not allow himself to give in to this, that would be an equivalent of accepting his suspicions.

Suddenly a noise in the neighboring room aprubtly interrupted his pondering. He heard a door being opened, it was Julia. He made his way to his bed swiftly and crawled under the blanket and pretended to be asleep before she entered the room. He heard the soft sound of her agitated breathing as she retreated from his room to close the door.

She was hiding something! He could feel it, she was experiencing something she did not wish to share with him. A maelstrom of feelings danced through his mind, from fury to a deep mind consuming hurt. She had never done this before.

That's when he heard the other voice, that of a man! Startled he sat upright in his bed, carefully listening, wishing for a conformation that this was just an illusion. But it was not, the voice was as clear as hers. She was welcoming him, telling him how she had followed him with her eyes. He on his turn muttered some unintelligible words expressing his admiration. He heard the plop of a wine bottle being opened. Julia's voice asking him if he wished to drink.

Then he heard something which confirmed his doubts even more. He, this man standing with her in their room, asked her why she didn't sing. He heard a deep expressional sigh coming from Julia.

"I always wanted to sing," she spoke, "but I never knew what to sing about. There's no reason for me to sing, just yet. I don't know, perhaps I'm waiting for the muses to come and enlighten my mind." She laughed, a soft deep laugh as only Julia could do. "Tell me about you, what is it that drives you? What are your hopes, dreams, I want to know . . . . . everything."

Then he spoke, an endless monologue of his life, dreams and everything his precious Julia asked of him. Even he was intrigued, sitting on the floor with his back leaning to the wall, next to the wooden door that separated him and them. Instinctively he knew this was no ordinary man, not a sexually driven admirer. He knew that whatever he was afraid of, would become reality. Though he sounded like a scattered minded idiot at first, he felt the passion in his voice which separated him from every other man he had heard talking to Julia.

And Julia must have been amazed by him, for the entire night, she hadn't spoken a word. She was just listening to his serenade of life and adventure. He finally ended his tale when the first tiny daring beams of sunshine penetrated the fabrics of the curtains. There was a complete silence for a while, besides the furious beating of his heart, silence hung in the room. Then she spoke.

"Thank you Laguna, I think I finally have something to sing about."

After a while he left and never returned. Very soon he heard her soft step coming towards his door. He did not bother to hide, he did not care if she found him on the floor. And she did when the door was swung open. The expression of happiness froze on her face when their eyes met. She looked bewildered, guilty even.

"Why are you sitting here on the floor J. ?" she asked surprised. He did not answer and turned his gaze away from her. He just stared in the distance, embracing his knees in some urge for comfort. The black of his hair concealed his face from her.

"Oh were you listening to us?" she suddenly asked with unfamiliar tone in her voice, to his astonishment, it was anger!

"What is it? Tell me? Is it because I talked to him?" she exclaimed, he flinched, tighten his hold of his knees as to dodge her accusations.

"I have just had one of the happiest nights of my life. I cannot, no, I will not feel guilty about it. I refuse to apologize for this night." Every anger stained syllable struck him like a sharp-edged blade would.

"Talk to me Jules! Tell me, why are you sitting here, obviously upset. Don't you understand, I'm a woman. For years we have lived in an isolation, when all the time I wished to live, to taste the spices of life, to dance and sing and make love and just . . . . . live! I love you Jules, but I can't understand why you don't grant me this wish." Tears were trailing their way down her crimson cheeks, her big dark eyes moist with tears. She fell to her knees and embraced him, she held him to her chest. Kissing his face, striking his hair, rocking him, though it felt as if she needed the comfort more than he did.

"I love you Jules, I love you so much," she spoke through her tears, "But I'm a young woman, my love. I have dreams, wishes, desires. This man, you see, he is special. If you were listening you would know. I think I n-need him. I'm 24 now and still haven't seen one bit of life. I'm looking for l-love, do you understand, J.?"

He finally looked up at her face, her teary eyes begging for understanding. "Don't you love _me_?

"Yes, I do J. More than anything in this world," she sighed, "But I'm looking for a different kind of love, you see. The love of a man, passion."

"I can give you that," he whispered. "I will give you whatever you want Julia."

She laughed, holding him even tighter to her chest. "No my love, that is the one thing you cannot give me."

"You are going to leave me," he said, not a question rather than a statement of a fact. 

She held him away from her for a while, looking at him in horror. "I will never." But he merely shook his head and rested his head in her lap. She stroke his hair for a while, until they both fell asleep.

She never saw Laguna again. But he did. A week later, it was late afternoon, the sky colored in light strokes of peach, as if someone wanted to wipe away the heavens. The air felt more chilly than it was usual for this time of year. He was about go for an errand his sister sent him out to do. As he stepped out in the remarkably empty street, he bumped up against this man, Laguna. He apologized immediately, grinning like an idiot. Running his hand through his long dark locks, he explained how he was in a hurry.

"Who are you looking for?" Jules asked, even though he knew the answer. 

"Julia heartilly," he replied, his grin even broadened when he mentioned her name. A sudden mix of disgust and fury struck him, but remained calm as always.

"I see," he said, a thought came into his mind. "But I'm afraid she is not in. Can I deliver a message?" 

A shadow stole over his remarkably handsome face. Various feelings obviously went through him, his expression fading from desperation to sadness. He sighed and turned away. As Jules he was going to leave, he turned back again.

"Can you g-give her a letter?" Laguna asked, casting his eyes at him in sadness. He nodded, forcing an understanding look. Laguna reached for his back-pocket and pulled out a nicely folded piece of paper, without an envelope and handed to him.

"I meant to give her this, after I'd seen her," he said, "but I guess that won't happen. Will you tell her to wait for me? She will understand what I mean. I n-need to go now."

"I will, goodbye," Jules answered calmly, though the rage inside him increased. Laguna gave him a nod as a farewell and turned to walk away. With both his thumbs in the back-pockets of his jeans, he strolled away, gazing at ground.

As soon as he was out of sight, Jules unfolded the paper. It was a three page long letter, written in a surprisingly graceful handwriting. With every word he read, the fury in him grew stronger and it felt good. He drank every letter, swallowing it with his eyes, nourishing the rage within. After getting the things Julia asked him to get, he went back to his part of the room and laid down on his bed. He didn't even go to see Julia's performance, but spent the entire night lying on his back, reading the letter over and over again, gazing at the ivory colored pieces of paper as if all the secrets of the universe were held into these ink prints. When the stars retreated to make place for the rising sun, he finally folded the letters back and put them into his back pocket.

This was one letter she would never see.

In the following weeks he noticed a tremendous difference in her. It was as if the old Julia was slipping away from him, it was like holding a melting piece of ice in his warm human hands. She never came to his room anymore at night, to crawl under the blankets with him. She never spoke to him of the future, neither of love for him.

He realized she was depressive, his angel was grieving for this Laguna. Did she see him as a savior, the brave warrior who was going to save her. _Save her from what?_ Was she really that unhappy, were her expectations beyond his reach? Unable to stand the stand in which she was in, he came up with a plan. It would be very simple, this doubt she was in right now would consume every youth and spirit she had left. He could not let that happen. He wanted his Julia back.

He wrote a letter, it didn't take him much effort to change his abstract handwriting into graceful. He wrote everything down he wished to be true. Unwilling to think of the hurt that was going to follow, instead he thought of the future of endless joy and love Julia once promised them. He would her savior, he was going to save her from misery.

The next day, when Julia still lay asleep in her bed, safely under the blanket probably dreaming dreams that were going to end soon, he slipped outside. The first sounds of life filled the street. Shop owners preparing themselves for another day of business, governmental cleaners sweeping the road clean for another day of life, the mailman delivering the morning papers for the lazily awaking citizens of Deling City. The last caught his attention, and with a swift step he approached the short man in his fifties, carrying a huge leather red bag of papers, with the strap crossed against his chest. 

"Goodmorning, can you help me please?" he asked, forcing a sincere smile, setting the foundation for his future manipulation skills.

The old man looked up at the taller young dark-haired boy. "What do you want?"

"Could you please personally deliver this letter to Julia Heartilly, she is staying in the Galbadian Hotel, room 777," he asked. "You see, it's a surprise for her."

The man growled, read to turn away from him. "Do I look like a courier? Bring it yourself." The anger in him increased, he felt like strangling this old pathetic idiot. But instead he managed to transform the raging energy into a even broader smile. He pulled out some notes and pressed it in his old raw hands. The man looked surprised at the amount of money in his hands and nodded slowly.

"Good, we have an understanding then," Jules said pleased, it even startled him on how easy it is to gain access to people's will by use of money. It was a trick he kept in the back of his mind. "Remember, room 777."

The man was already on his way to enter the Hotel, when he turned and asked: "Who do I say it's from?"

Jules smiled. "Say it's from Loire, Laguna Loire."

He forced himself to stay away all day, giving her the time to let it sink all in. Afterwards her brother, her only love, would return and wash away this filth of misery and kiss her to a future of love and happiness. He wrote another letter, to the army-base in Centra, addressed to Mr. Laguna Loire.

That night when he returned to their suite, she wasn't there. It was too early to perform just yet, but he saw the used tissues, brushes and make-up on her vanity-table. He hurried downstairs, ignoring the flirting comments of the receptionist and went past her down the bar. He just saw how she climbed up the stage. An angel clothed in robes of deep-red silk, the same dress as that night! Her black locks waved down like it was when she met Laguna. But tonight she didn't immediately make her way to the black stool in front of the piano, who was occupied by another pianist, a bald middle-aged man. On stage he saw a device he hadn't seen before, a microphone. 

The first notes of the piano were her cue to start. The minute the first tones left her throat, the entire bar silenced. Even the young drunk soldiers in the back. He glanced at a few men sitting at one of the front tables, one of them held his glass of wine in the air, as if was frozen when he was about to take a sip, his eyes drawn to the siren in red.

He gazed at his Julia, how she stood there, on the stage, on her own. Singing words she never meant for him to hear. Thoughts she never meant to share with him. For the first time in their lives, she did not sing for him. The exclusivity of her anthems of love were now gone forever, driven away in the arms of an uncaring soldier. 

He saw the fantasy she was reliving beneath her closed eye-lids. He start shivering, as if a cold tornado whirled into the room, knocking over all his hopes of a re-gained love. Though he was not here in flesh, Laguna was there in a place he could never reach. Was this the passion she had spoken of?

He forgot about his appearance, he did not care he stood there in the doorway of the bar like a bewildered madman, contemplating whether to run and hide or seek the shelter of her angelic curses.

Her voice started to fade, he didn't want it to go, despite the pain and recognition of failure, he wanted to hold unto the voice, that would never be his again.

Tears, anger, hurt, humiliation, pain, disgust, admiration, love and hate rushed through body, like blood once used to, washing away all evidence of his humanity. He ran out of the bar, up the stairs, outside in the pre-night city, he ran past the late shops, past the Deling Archway, past the station, past the welcome sign, past trees, past forests, past mountains, he kept running as if wanted to stay ahead of the shadows that were following him.

As though a voice called him, he held still. Just like that, as if someone turned of the switch of his madness. Wearily he glanced around, his garments torn by protruding branches, exhausted and dried out, he found himself standing in a enormous grassy field, stretched out before him as far as his eyes could reach. For miles in the distance he saw nothing as much as a tree. Just an depressing landscape with him as the only accessory. The stars overhead seemed the only witnesses of his fit of irrationality.

He touched his moist forehead, his finger stained with almost drying blood. Had he been attacked by a monster? How long had he been running? Wearily he collapsed on the floor.

When he tried to open his heavy eye-lids, he saw faint images of several faces, as if they were painted in water. But how vague and misty his head seemed, he saw one clear face. That of an angel.

"He's awaking1" a deep manly voice said. He squinted his eyes, desperately trying to get a clear focus on the people present in the room.

"Jules, my love," a soft familiar voice spoke, "can you see me?"

Yes, he saw her. Her big dark eyes reddish with tears. Her perfect rose-petal like lips moving to speak. She still loved him!

When he looked around he noticed a unfamiliar vicinity, beeping alien sounds, equipment like that in a movie. Where was he?

"Where am I?" he voiced his thoughts, trying to get up, but Julia gently pushed him back, hushing him to be silent.

"You're in a hospital my love," she spoke, he could hear the trembling tone her voice, "You've been in a coma for 64 days. This nice man found you lying on the fields north of Deling City." she said, gesturing to the man standing next to her. He had a youthful yet powerful olive-skinned face, though he must have been at least eight year older than Julia was. "You were so lucky, my love. Any monster could have attacked you. I cannot imagine what would have happened then."

The man smiled at him. But Jules was for an unexplainable reason wary of him. He watched his big masculine hand stroking the back of Julia's arm in comfort. And he saw in her face she was glad he was there to aid her.

"Well thank you Mr. . . . . ?"

"Call me Caraway," he answered, "and don't thank me. I've done what everyone with a bit humanity would have done."

Julia shook her head. "Don't listen to him Jules, Caraway is a hero. He brought back my little brother, the most precious gift anyone could have ever given me."

Caraway? He didn't like the way she spoke his name, with such familiarity. A terrible sense of foreboding hung in his chest. He wanted to be alone with Julia. When he asked her, the doctors and Caraway nodded and respectfully left the room. He was finally with her, it was time to explain everything to her. He wouldn't risk loosing his Julia.

"Julia, you know, when I left, it was because of - . . . . " he started, but she hastily interrupted him.

"No Jules, please, you need to rest," she spoke with tears in her eyes, "let it go. Let's forget everything and go on." Her voice was clear. What was happening? Didn't she want to know why he went away? Didn't she want to know how hurt he was? That everything he did in his life was out of love for her. That he wanted to be the one who could give her everything she would ever need.

So they spoke of nothing, meaningless matters to fill up the void between the two of them. She came by every day, Caraway never accompanied her during her visits. So they weren't so familiar as he had expected. A week after his recovery he was released from the hospital. Julia came to help him back to their suite. His head swimming with dreams of the future of them two together, they walked outside the Deling Memorial, ready to walk down the stairs leading them to his new life. But down there he saw the distinctive figure of a steady man in a uniform waiting by a limousine, Caraway!

A smile appeared on Julia's face as she spotted him. And he too returned her smile with a sincere expression of content. Jules eyes danced from Julia's to that of Caraway's and back to rest on her face. But he asked nothing.

"Goodmorning kid, I'm glad you're better," he said heartily. He extended his arm to aid him in the limo, but Jules refused him with a short polite nod and stepped in by himself. Caraway and Julia seated on the seats left of him to face him. They were awfully close.

He turned his gaze away from them and gazed of the window. The flashy buildings of Deling City were swiftly passing them by. They went past the shopping center and past the Galbadian Hotel! He turned his face to them in surprise, but they didn't seem to notice him, having a very animated conversation about the weather.

Finally the car held still, when he glanced out of the window he saw he wasn't even in central DC. They were in the quiet neighborhood of the sub-urbs. They stepped out of the car. He found himself standing on a gravel path, heading for an enormous villa stretched above the trees, like a master watching his fledglings. Once again he turned to Julia, gazing at her face as if her eyes harbored all the answers to every questions he could have. But she didn't speak, but led him by the arm towards the mansion. Her gesture had a faint degree of nervousity. Caraway was behind them to give instructions to the driver, but Julia walked before him. Ringing the beautifully engraved copper bell when they reached the door.

The servant who opened the door greeted her heartily as the mistress of the house. Maybe Julia had come here a lot, in her worry for him. Maybe she was looking for some comfort, wanting to escape the loneliness of her room. Mr. And Mrs. Caraway must have taken good care of her.

Stepping inside the voluptuous hall, he was in awe. Thinking their suite in Galbadia Hotel was a kingdom, it was absolutely nothing compared to even an inch of the beauty of this mansion. Finally he couldn't hold anymore.

"Is this Caraway's house?" he asked her.

She nodded. "Yes, he invited us to stay here. Isn't that very kind of him J.?"

"Yes, very. How is Mrs. Caraway?"

Her brows knitted in surprise. "There's no Mrs. Caraway." He wouldn't have thought anything of it, if she didn't twirl her hair like that around her finger, like a nervous school-girl. Julia was never the like of doing so.

Finally Caraway came in too. Smiling warmly he approached them, carrying two suit cases into the house. Their suite cases!

"What is going on," Jules demanded, his voice drained with authority which surprised Julia.

She was about to speak, when Caraway spoke instead. "We have something to tell you Jules. Your sister and I have grown rather fond of each other. We are getting married next week. I hope you will give us your blessings."

But blessing wasn't an expression you would use when Jules heard the news. An expression of utter disgust, horror and despair came over his face

"Blessing??" he exclaimed, Julia wanted to hush him, but Caraway stopped her, as if he wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Julia, tell me, this is a joke right? You can't get married. You can't do this to me!"

Julia motioned for Caraway to leave them alone, he nodded and retreated from the hall. She turned to face him, her expressional almond-shaped brown eyes moist with tears. 

"Jules, you knew this would happen eventually, right? I'm 25 and you are 16 and it's time for me to really live and broaden my horizons. Have you never dreamt of going out to seek for the world? Of knowing what lies beneath the snowfields up north, of learning all that the new-aged Esthar has to offer. I once promised you the world, right? That is what I'm offering you. I never wished for you to hang unto to me forever, I would be denying you the future I promised you. It is time to fly, my angel. Just as it is time for me to do so."

"I will not live without you, I will die, I promise you that!"

"Don't say such things. You will live and the world will be yours. If not for yourself, do it for me. Jules, for years I have struggled, I have lingered on the downside of the social ladder. Poverty and responsibility have robbed of what I truly want, love and passion and . . . " she suddenly silenced, as if she realized what she had just said.

"So I robbed you of your dreams," he stated sadly, he felt as if he couldn't stand anymore, as if his limbs were consumed by genuine hurt.

"No, you did not, my love," she said, "I could never have faced the world, if you weren't standing behind me, within my reach. But yes, I do wish I could change the past. If I had let you grow on your own, instead of selfishly clinging unto you. Maybe I would have preserved your independence and your inner dreams."

So this his dark horrifying fantasy had become reality. A world without Julia. A philosophy shattered under the hammer of her voice. She ordered him to seek the world. If Julia said so, he would do so. He would seek it, find it and return with it on a silver platter as a gift for her. He would let her go, let her seek for her own conformations and expectations. But he would return for her, when she had seen all that she wished he would come back and take her to their dreams once again. She wanted a man, he would return as a man. Though he felt a sickly feeling of horror to leave her with this man, he had no choice. But one day he would reclaim her.

He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. Hesitating she threw her arms around his neck, quietly sobbing against his chest. After a while he retreated from her arms, before he left he bent to give her a one last kiss on her velvet pink lips, a momento to take along on his journey. Finally he gazed up at her and without saying as much as a word he left the mansion, on his way to seek the world.

The first two years were the hardest of his life, homeless and broke he roamed around the world, trying to find what Julia ordered him to look for. But his years didn't go wasted, he was learning. Every second he spent thinking, studying the world and its ways. He watched how people discussed, how they argued, the matters that kept them busy. The values of man. At his third year away from Julia, the first beams of sunshine penetrated his dark and gloomy live. He became aware of the human nature and how you can make it work for your benefit. The world was like the old mail-man, money was the magic word. A fair promise about a prosperous future was the price for human will. He ended up in Galbadia, though he was hundreds of miles away from Deling City. A weaponry factory near the military base caught his interests. In times of war, machinery and armory were the keys to success. Using his newly developed skills to let the world believe he was the man they needed, that his offer was the one deal they could not refuse. And very soon his name became a name to remember.

He had been with women of course. Preferably dark-haired tender beauties, making him forget about his nightmares in their caring arms. Happiness he did not seek in them though, neither did they. It was a mutual understanding, a bond of interests.

All he ever did was make money, seek for the world and think about how Julia was doing. Was she having the passion she spoke of? Was she finally living? She had grown into a international star. His angel, on the covers of glossy magazines, in every TV-show, on the top of every chart. Where ever he went, he saw her dark haunting eyes staring at him. The worst was when they played her songs on the radio. Her angelic voice singing that damned song. Laguna's song.

Around the age of 22 he finally earned himself the money, power and dignity he could every wish for. He had roamed the world, wandered through deserts, crossed seas, but still didn't see the world he was looking for. Maybe he already had it! Maybe this was what she meant with the world, he would bring her _his _world. It was time to get back.

Stepping out of the limosouine, of the same sort as the one who brought him to this mansion six years ago, he watched the great mansion in the darkness. Nothing had changed, but he desperately wished it did. He hoped with every living vein in his body that she had lived and felt the passion, and was ready to go with him. Nodding to the driver he made himself walk the familiar gravel path he once used to as a boy. He now was a wealthy man, powerful, admired, dressed in a black suit, exclusively made. His entire attitude breathed a sense of wealth and confidence, though inside he was trembling.

He rang the bell when he reached the door. The door opened, expecting to see a servant or Caraway or Julia herself, but he was startled to see a short chubby little girl standing in the door-way. Suspisciouly sizing him up with big puppy-brown eyes, she placed both her hands on her hips as if she was the madam of the house.

Jules couldn't help but gasp when he watched her, the likeness was so tremendous, it was almost blasphemous. A re-creation of Julia. He kneeled in front of this young little beauty.

"Hello," he said smiling, "what is your name?"

"Who are you," she demanded in a high voice, ignoring his question. He laughed softly, she was enchanting.

"I am Jules, your uncle. And who are you."

"Are you really my uncle?" she asked, unsure what to think of this stranger.

"Yes, I'm your mother's little brother."

"Hihi, you don't look little. The boys in my class are little, but you have hair on your arms! I am Rinoa," she said giggling, extended her short chubby hand to greet him. He returned her greet. 

"Hey, you are shaking," she stated. Yes, he was. He couldn't grasp it all, his Julia had a daughter, a replica of an angel.

"Where is your mother little one?" he asked. She giggled once again and grabbed his hand and led him through the house. They went through a glass leading to the voluptuous garden. Near a fountain sat a young man and woman, at a white garden-table. 

"Mooohooomm, daddy, look what I found!"

And there she was, Julia. Dressed in a long white silk robe, her hair in a pigtail with some escaped strands of dark dancing in front of her brown mesmeric eyes. She was older now, nearly 31, but her beauty was ripened by age, she seemed more elegant in a way. He didn't think he had ever laid eyes upon one who possessed more beauty and innocence. Next to her sat Caraway, dressed in a uniform which he now recognized to be a general's. Unlike the surprised and happy look on Julia's face, his face seemed darkened when he entered their garden.

"Hello Julia," he spoke softly, almost as a whisper, unsure of what her reaction would be. She bit on her lips, as if to stop from crying. And then suddenly she stood up and ran towards him, throwing her arms around his neck. Softly crying against his chest, stroking his hair, she whispered of how she had missed him. 

Finally she released him, and took a step back to gaze at him. Sizing him up from top to toe, she smiled, laughed actually.

"Now look at my little brother. Oh, what a man has he become!"

"You look good Jules, welcome back," Caraway finally spoke now, but Jules, armed with six experience in the nature of humans driven by greed and power lust, he sensed the insincerity in his words.

"Thank you," he replied, "you look good yourself." He turned back to the little Rinoa, standing behind him with unpleased look on her round little face, of being ignored. "And I see you have a daughter. Can you sing as good as your mother."

"Oh heaven, don't start. She listens way too much to my songs," Julia laughed. How he missed that laugh.

Caraway stood up and walked towards him and Rinoa. He grabbed the pouting little girl by her arm to lead her away. "Come on Rinoa, let's leave uncle Jules and mom alone for a minute. Shall I make you some hot coca?" With this bribe she ran happily before him. Julia glanced somewhat surprised at Caraway, but he went away without saying a word.

"How are you doing Julia, my beautiful Julia?" he asked, taking place in one of the garden seats, she seated in the one in front of him. "How are you enjoying the marital bliss?" In an instant the merry expression on her face vanished to make place for sadness and weariness.

She sighed, a deep expressional sigh as if she had the burden of the world lay upon her delicate shoulders. "Oh Jules, if only you knew. You see, sometimes I wished I went out to discover to the world together with you. I don't seem to find whatever I was looking for. Do you understand that?" He nodded, but he didn't. All he understood was that maybe she was ready to come with him.

"You are not happy?"

"Oh, what is happiness? Maybe it's an illusion, a forced hope, denial of reality. Maybe I'm going mad. I have heard of your success, my love. Are you happy?"

He shrugged, unsure what to do with his hands, he waved some strands of dark hair out of his face. "I like to think so. But I know I'm not. I'm sorry, but I haven't found the world you told me to seek."

"I haven't found it either. I have found Rinoa, she's the only reason why I am living now."

"What about Caraway?"

She sniffed sardonically. "Caraway? He is married to his job. The military is his wife, his gun is his wedding ring, the army-base his bedroom, where do I fit in?" Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I wonder if he's even aware that I am around. I think I would prefer him yelling at me, hitting me, crying, anything but this suffocating silence between us. I am nothing to him, nothing but a trophy. A midnight breeze that you walk through, I am not married. J. this is not what I dreamt of."

All the while he had sat there, in silence, listening, maybe silently urging him to advise her. Maybe this was his destiny, to be her savior. "Come with me," he whispered, "I have found only my world and that is what I have to offer you. Come with me, leave this misery, let us find your dream together. It's not too late, my love."

She laughed, soft and gentle, but the expression in her face told him she was actually contemplating his offer of a new life.

"I can't," she whispered, "I have to stay here . . . . . for Rinoa."

"We can take her along, there are so many wondrous things I can show her. We will give her the childhood we never had."

"That's exactly why I need to stay. We've never had parents, at least not one worth mentioning. But Rinoa has, I cannot deny her this chance of knowing both her parents."

He stood up in fury. He could not let her go, never, not again. She would come with him, he swore by Hyne's thunder that would never be separated again. She, Rinoa and him, a perfect little family, the Heartilly's. Life would be so wonderful.

"I need to go Julia, there is a meeting. But I will be back, tonight. We will be together again Julia, we will find your dream together." Without waiting for her response, he walked away.

He returned late that evening. This time the door was opened by a lady in her sixties, wearing a servant's uniform. He told her who he was and who he came for. 

"I shall see you to the tea-room, Mr. and Mrs. Caraway are prese- . . . . . oh my, I totally forgot about the cake! Forgive me sir, but could you please go on by yourself, it is right around the corner, hard to miss." Without waiting for his response she ran away to the kitchen.

When he neared the tea-room, he reached for the door-handle to enter, when the agitated voices from within stopped him. Through the dark oak-door, he heard Julia's voice and Caraway angrily speaking to each other.

" . . . . I can't handle this anymore."

" . . . you are exaggerating. Don't do anything foolish."

" . . . . for years I'm begging you, just love me a little. Was that too much to ask of my husband?"

" . . . I love you for Hyne's sake. But I don't trust that brother of yours. I will not endure him near my daughter, you hear me.?

" . . . how dare you speak of him like that. He is ten times as noble as you'll ever be."

" . . . . . stop lying to yourself. He's dangerous, even I can sense that. You think his admiration for you is the same as any other kind of admiration? He is obsessed!"

A clear sound of someone being slapped. He forced himself not to burst into the door, but he realized it was Caraway who got hit.

"I should have done that a long time ago. If that is how you feel, I'm leaving, first thing tomorrow and I'm taking Rinoa with me."

A silence followed, just an ominous silenced stretched to a certain extend when one nerves are on the verge of snapping.

In a soft hissing voice Caraway spoke, speaking every syllable clear and separately as if was talking to a mentally challenged kid. "I rather kill you and that schizophrenic brother of yours, if you even dare to think of taking Rinoa with him. Do you understand?"

He raised his hand to knock on the door but it was already swung open by Julia. Surprised to find him there she gazed at him, but she recovered quickly and seized him by the arm leading him away from the room where Caraway stood with his back towards them.

She led him up the massive marble stairs to her own private bedroom. She let go of him when they entered the room and threw herself on the bed, crying, cursing, shedding more tears. He closed the door and approached her, silently he sat down next to her. She lay on her stomach, her tender shoulders shaking in her sobbing. He moved his hand gently through her dark locks, like she used to do with him.

"You know it Julia, your destiny is with me," he whispered, "come with me. He doesn't understand you like I do. I am your brother, we share a history, memories, ideas, dreams. That is one connection he could never share with you."

Her quiet sob eventually died out and she sat upright, not bothering to clean her mascara-stained cheeks. "You see, I never stopped thinking about Laguna," she suddenly said. He felt a jolt of familiar jealousy and hurt going through him at her words.

"Maybe I married Caraway as a response to Laguna. Sometimes, well, all the time, when I'm eating my break-fast, or combing Rinoa's hair or even when kissing Caraway, I cannot help but think about how things could have been. I would imagine a world without regret. You see, Laguna left me, unexplained. All he left me was a vague letter of a new mission, his urge for adventure, but I didn't understand. I still don't. If he had told me personally, I would have gone with him to where ever he might go. Wouldn't you? I may sound like a weak passive being, but I would do that out love. It's an admirable thing in fact. Haven't you ever done something out of love, despite the consequences?"

He nodded thoughtfully, his lips on the verge of confessing everything. But he couldn't, not now. She would not understand, would she?

"But then again, I don't think he was meant to be," she continued, "even if he did love me like I loved him. He was a soldier, thirsting for challenges and experiences, I would never have fitted in his life. I am glad he just wrote me a letter, maybe it allowed me to maintain my sanity long enough to have Rinoa."

She understood it! She understood that it was for the best. Maybe the moment of understanding and beginning of love had finally come. There would be no more secrets between them. He could show her his love.

"I thought it was for the better too, my love. I knew from the start by the look on his face he would be the bearer of hurt and misery. He would never have understood you like I did. He did come by and handed me a letter, expressing his love and whatnot, but coming down to one message, that of his departure. I could not stand him doing this to you. I wrote you a different letter containing the same message, but that wouldn't leave you longing for a prince that would never come. I would never allow any harm done to you, my sister."

The expression on Julia's was beyond any horror he might ever dreamed of. She stood there, a frozen marble angel, all color drained from her once vivid face, watching him in a feeling of utter disgust. As if he was a dark horrid alien creature coming from the depths of nightmares. She stood up, backing away from him, until the wall prevented her from going any further. She just stood there, looking down at him, no evidence whatsoever that she recognized him other than the terrible creature she thought him to be.

He reached out for her, his chest pounding in fear. But she flinched, pressing herself tighter against the wall, trying to escape his arms.

"Julia," he whispered, "I t-thought you would understand."

"S-show me," she demanded with an unsteady voice, "show me the l-letter."

He reached for his chest-pocket, where he had kept it all these years, close to his heart, Laguna's letter. The only one who had made the silent bird sing. He held the neatly folded paper in his hand, he saw the hungry look in Julia's eyes when she gazed at the letter. She reached out her trembling hand and snatched the letter away from him. She didn't begin to read as he half-expected, but instead stared at it in bewilderment. Bringing it to her nose, as though she tried to catch any evidence of Laguna's presence. She brought it to her heart, holding it tight as if she was afraid someone would take it away from her.

"Leave," she whispered. He stood up, extending his arms, his eyes pleading with her.

"Leave!!" she screamed, "leave me, go, go, go away." She didn't mean this of course. It couldn't be, this was Julia, even though he had a hard time believing that when he glanced at the mad expression on her face. He grabbed her shoulders with both his hands, pulling her close to him, though she struggled to get out of his grip. He forced her to look at him.

"Julia, my precious angel, we _will _be together," he hissed, "I promise you that. You, Rinoa and I, we are forever. Don't you remember that Julia. That we are forever!"

She shook her head. "No, no, no, even eternity has its end."

"If that is so, you will be with me in the end. Our love is imperishable"

"Leave," she whispered, it felt as if she had trouble speaking out the one-syllable word.

"I will leave you now," he said more calmly now, "I'll be back tomorrow. We are starting the journey towards a dream, my love, us three."

And so he left her in her room, with Laguna's letter. His unpenetratable faith started to bruise, he wasn't so sure of her capability to think. He could not trust her to come in the state she was in right now. She might take a wrong decision. He needed to help her, to force her through her moment of irrationality. Tomorrow they would be together again.

The next day he had made all preparations for their departure. At the Deling airport stood an private jet ready to take them to his mansion in Trabia. They would love it there, the freshly green of forests, the breath-taking mountains.

After all the business was taken care of, he headed for his limousine. Ready to take with him the only ones he loved. The limo made its way to a silent neighborhood, it finally held still in front of a short building surrounded by trees, flowers and a huge play field with swings and slides. He stepped out of his car and walked towards the school.

His eyes swiftly scanning the faces of the playing children, he searched for Rinoa. Finally he found her sitting on a swing on her own. Jumping up when she spotted, she ran towards him, he knelt allowing her to throw her arms around his neck. He picked the little chubby doll-like girl up.

"Unca Juice!!! You come for me??"

"Yes of course, I came for the prettiest girl in the entire school."

"Hihi, Jenny is way prettier. She gets cookies from the boys all the time."

"No, Jenny cannot be prettier than Rinoa Heartilly, the boys must be blind. But lovely little Rinoa, I've come here to take you with your mom somewhere else."

"Is it nice?"

"Yes, very nice. I'm going to take you on a plane, you know why? Because you are an angel and angels always fly in the sky. I will give you a castle worthy of a princess."

Rinoa laughed in delight, spreading her arms pretending to be flying. "Wait a second my love. I need to call mom, to come with us." He set her on her feet again and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket.

When the servant answered as usual, he asked for Julia, the woman seemed reluctant at first but after some persuasion she put him through. On the other side he heard the weary voice Julia.

"Hello my love, it is time to come with me," he whispered, "I'm ready, my plane is leaving in 45 minutes. Rinoa is with me."

"Oh my god, Jules, you cannot be serious," Julia screamed, "please let Rinoa go. Go alone, we'll go with you the next time you're here."

"I can't Julia, I have made all the arrangements. Ask Rinoa." He handed the girl the phone.

"Hi mommy, unca Juice is going to make me fly in a plane, because I'm an angel." But before Julia could answer her, he snatched the phone away from her.

"You see, Rinoa is already. We are just waiting for you. Hurry up, we are leaving in 40 minutes now, come to the airport. Or else I'm afraid we have to go on our own, we are going to a quite a tremendous place. Rinoa thought of staying there forever. Hurry my love."

"Jules, don't do this. She is my child, my only ch- ." But he already switched of the phone and took Rinoa in the limo, heading for the airport.

An hour later she still hadn't showed up. A terrible foreboding hung in his chest. It should have taken all together ten minutes to reach the airport, fifteen if she took the public transportation. Rinoa was still sitting in the limo and he gazed at his own private jet. Their ticket to a new life. A life he wanted Julia to be part of. When she hadn't arrived three hours later, he couldn't endure this anticipation and ordered the limo to take them to Caraway's Mansion. It took them a minute or ten to reach it. Ordering Rinoa to stay inside, he stepped out and rushed towards the door. When the old servant opened, he ran swiftly up the stairs, ignoring her exclamations. 

"Julia!!!" he shouted, "where are you??"

He ran towards her private room, the door was wide open and the room itself looked as if a tornado was released inside the chamber. Mirrors were broken, curtains and paintings pulled from their places, sheets torn and several empty bottles of wine lying on the floor, some even shattered.

Emptying his mind, he ran to the next room, rushing from one room to another, all of them empty. When he was about to return he noticed one door he hadn't checked. It was open, immediately upon entering the room what seemed to be an office, a painting caught his eye. Of a woman, lying on a sofa, dressed in red, a familiar robe. One her face lay a lazy smile and in one hand she had a crystal glass of wine, holding it up as if she wanted to give a toast. Long thick dark hair embraced a beautiful oval shaped face and haunting eyes staring from the painting right into his soul. This was his Julia.

Right of him he saw a desk, but it's content was what drew his attention. It's was Caraway's working desk, very exquisite made, probably Trabian. Here and there lay several papers, stationary and a blueprint. Turning the paper towards him to have a better look at its content, he suddenly knew what they meant by the term freezing. An undeniable cold stretched through his limbs, mingling with his blood, tracing away all humanity. With his 5 years of expertise on the field of weaponry, he identified this as a set up for a 5xT bomb, usually used on car to get rid of people easy and efficiently. It was accompanied by a remote control with a 500 miles reach and it wasn't lying on the table, nor was the bomb.

__

"I rather kill you and that schizophrenic brother of yours, if you even dare to think of taking Rinoa with him. Do you understand?"

Without a hesitation he ran outside, ignoring the servant once again he rushed out of the door. So many thoughts, doubts and suspicions went through his mind. Rinoa! He needed to get Rinoa. She needed him. He reached the limo and swung the car door open. There she sat, innocent and haughty, his little Rinoa, waiting for him and Julia. He pulled her gently out of the car and picked her up to hug her. His was afraid, a freezing sense of fright spread to his limbs and was on the verge of paralyzing. He wasn't sure why.

Suddenly he heard the sound of sirens, it seemed very distant. He needed to get out of here! But a sudden realization hit him like a meteor rushing with thousands of miles per hour. From the left side of the street he saw five or so cars carrying Galbadian soldiers coming, when he turned right he saw the same thing and over the bridge in front of the mansion came several other soldiers by foot. Quickly they got out of their cars, opening their doors for protection they aimed their arms at his head. There he stood, surrounded by men trained to kill him, with his back practically against the mansion. He didn't even have the time to make a dash for the door.

__

They will take Rinoa away from me!

He realized she was still in his arms, frightened at the sight of all the mean police men she held her arms tight around his neck. As in a reflex he reached for the gun inside his jacket and aimed it at Rinoa. She held her eyes closed and didn't see the deadly weapon pointed at her.

"Let go of the girl," yelled an officer.

"Back away, me and Rinoa were just on our way," he yelled back. "Rinoa is going where ever I'm going, we are forever!"

They yelled some more commands, their arms ready to fire but they couldn't do a thing while she was in his arms.

He turned to Rinoa who was sobbing against his shoulders. "Rinoa darlin, these meanies want to take you away. You won't let that happen, right? We stay together, until the end. You, mommy and me. If I can't have you, no one will, my love, my angel, do you understand honey?"

Rinoa nodded furiously against his shoulders, though she had no idea what he was talking about.

He suddenly felt an ice cold metal pressed against the back of head and was thrown to his knees. Rinoa and the gun fell out his arms unto the floor. He just saw how she was pulled away from him. He stood on his knees as to worship the garish sun above him. He felt how his hand were being cuffed, held together in a firm grip by the scraping metal. The man holding him by his hands walked around to face him. There he stood, his firm but aged face, hazel eyes piercing through him as to fathom the disgust and sickness in him. General Caraway.

He hit him right in his nose with his fist, once again in his face, he kept on hitting him furiously like a madman. Until some soldiers blocked him, ordering him to calm down. He pushed them away and advanced, he stood there watching this kneeling man as if he was worshipping him.

"There were so many things I had planned to say to you," he spoke, his voice trembling with ominous fury. "But I can't think of anything suitable to describe my feelings towards you." He turned around to walk away but Jules held him still.

"Julia," he exclaimed, "where is Julia? Please tell me."

The general froze and turned with a look so fierce and ominous to face him. He walked slowly back to him, and knelt down on one knee. Caraway pulled up his chin, forcing him to face him and remember every detail of his face.

"Julia . . . is . . . . dead," pronouncing every syllable clearly as if he wanted him to realize it to the fullest. "Gone."

His eyes widened in agony, he didn't know what to do. Rage, cry, scream, curse, kill this man, kill himself, kill them all!! Julia, his angel, it was a lie. Yes, it was a terrible horrifying lie.

But his lips spoke the words his sub-conscious needed to know. "H-h-how?"

"In a car." The look on Jules' bloodstained face was so intense and horrifying even Caraway's expression turned to surprise, for just a one hundredth of a second he felt pity for him but that passed and he stood up and landed his boot in his stomach.

"I p-promise you," Jules spoke using all his remaining energy to speak out these words, "I will reverse all this, next time it will be you in my position, you and Loire."

"What are you going to do, unleash the furies on me to torment me and haunt me in my dreams? Guess what, I'm letting you live," Caraway hissed in his face, "I'll let you live with the thought of how your precious Julia is now eaten up by worms. Forever will you spend in a dark chamber with only haunting memories of Julia's death. And here is my promise to you, you will die in madness, and by your own hand. Death is a mercy you do not deserve."

And with that he was taken away to Desert Prison for the next twelve years. 

****

And now he had returned. His freedom granted by young SeeDs, who managed to break his chains during a major break-out last year. His money still stored in a safe place, he went back to his mansion in Trabia. Spending months learning of the world, of what happened in his twelve years of imprisonment.

Finally after some months he stepped out in daylight, with a new name and a new purpose. He had become Jules Artica, and ready to exploit human will and greed. His wealth increased tremendously. Galbadia hailing their former weapon provider again, the same one they had put behind bars.

And when Ultimecia was defeated, in the future, he had gathered himself all the information, money and influence he needed and it was ready to go back. 

It was time to put things in motion. Loire's Garden, Caraway and Rinoa, they would be his puppets in the major scheme he had set up. He promised a reversion of history, and this was what he would give them.

He glanced to the frozen Deling once more. The statue still gazing at him with a haughty expression on his stone face.

"You, my good friend, watch and learn. The money you had mistaken for a shield against threats, could not save you."

__

But a good judgement could have.

He kneeled in front of the statue, the arrogance in its frozen eyes seemed to disappear when he bowed his head in a mocking honoring.

-----------

****

Author's note:

[I hope I haven't chased away every reader I had with this chapter. I know it was long and at most points boring and it may sound as if it has nothing to do with the story at first, but bear with me for a while, it's even crucial for the rest of the story. And please consider this when you go out and flame me, I wasn't really suggesting incest, even though not by blood Jules is in every way Julia's brother. It is that I wanted to portrayed the most wicked and sickest of 'villains', namely the good evil. Someone once told me that the worst evil is good evil. Jules is a boy who thinks he is good, he is convinced of his just. I wanted to portray his obsessive course of thinking, a man who would commit murders in the name of love. In his obsessive mind, Jules wanted to be the ONLY ONE for Julia. He couldn't accept she needed different sort of things from different people, he wanted to embody all that Julia could ever want from a human being. For him, she had such power over him that something as simple as his significance to her could be the definitive factor in whether he lived or not (yeah, I got that line from The Orphan ^_^), so he had to do everything to maintain his importance to her. That's why he was so horrified whenever some neared to Julia, he was fearing for his own life. See, I'm not just a sick weirdo, there's actually a reason. *lol* If you still don't understand now, you will later on. Please do let me know your views and opinion about all this. It is for you I'm writing, and I'd really like to know that at least someone gets the points in my seeming pointless rants. :D

About the title of this chapter. I was listening to Beethoven's Fur Elise when writing this and since this chapter is centered around Julia, I named it Fur Julia. Since everything Jules does, he does out of love for her, I couldn't think of a better title. 

One thing, Furies were female spirits who came to torment evil doers, in Greek mythology, especially if someone did harm against a family member. Keep that in mind for Caraway and Jules.]


	5. 5 - Exploring the void

Changing Faces

Part 5

[Disclaimer: Squaresoft 0wnz everything and I 0wnz my stuffed bunny and Jules Artica]

Exploring the void

The trees whisled to the midnight wind, who was involved in a gentle amorous flirt with their leaves. The widely scattered stars joined the company of the lonely full moon, to follow the two young people walking on the deserted grassy plains. Their presence was the only remarkable feature of the dark landscape. Their voices unheard, their movements just as silent, though within there was a whirlwind of questions, ponderings and doubts.

A young man and woman. Walking as if it they were on a pleasant midnight stroll, with no monsters lurking from behind every tree. A sorceress and a knight, though not related in any way. Heading for the shimmering lights of the approaching city in the distance. 

Both were unsure of the other's presence, silently throwing accusations at each other. Not so many months ago they stood before each other in battle and now were walking next to one another. How were they to intreprent this sudden twist of fate.

They finally reached the city entrance, a large sign welcoming them to the city of night. Their attitude changed slightly now they were on familiar terrain. The unease seemed to loosen a bit, fading into curiousity. Neither of them wished to talk just yet and unwilling to set a destination, they kept on walking, even after they reached the city they silently planned on.

The streetlight allowing him to see her face, he stole her a sidewards glance to study her face, in her moment of pondering. Her delicate profile gazing at the ashfalt ground, thick strands of black covered her eye from him. Her entire attitude breathed a sense of depression and apathy, as though her will and spirit were consumed in a misty indiffrence. She suddenly held still, but remained silent. Walking a step back, he turned to face her.

He spoke first. "Why are you here Rinoa?"

Her apathical look turned to sadness. "Maybe because of the same reason you are here Seifer," she spoke, her voice a bit unsteady. He noticed the absence of the familiar girly clear tone of hers. Her voice sounded as if she was tired and had lived through too much.

How would she know why he was here? How would she know about being defeated and decieved? He glanced at her face, he saw a suspicious shimmering in her eyes. Maybe he was wrong, maybe she really was here for the same reasons.

Before he had a chance to answer she turned to walk away through some trees and bushes surrounding Deling Park. After a few seconds of hesitation he ran after her. He just caught a glimpse of the blue fabric of her dress disappearing through the trees. Once again he followed her.

As he pushed the tree branches away with his to make his way through the bushes, he wondered why he was here and not in his hotel with Fujin and Rajin. Why was he here in the darkness, running after the person who once tried to kill him. The one who betrayed him. 

Trying to ignore the sarcastic voices in his head, he ran through the dark trees. Finally he saw her standing in front of a gate. He advanced and laid a hand on her shoulder. She didn't turn, she just watched the massive iron gates in silence.

"It's not time yet, I can't go," she finally spoke, he noticed the sadness in her voice.

"Time for what?" he asked as in a whisper.

"Just that it's not the time, time will come, as always. Just not now," she said. Finally she turned to face him. He glanced down at her face, a strange paleness colored her cheeks. But that didn't effect her beauty in any way, her delicate features that once had caught his attention, were the same. Nothing had changed, except for her eyes. The sparkle that once had caught his eye had vanished into the depths of these chocolate-brown eyes. Her face was now dominated by a lacksture glance, they seemed more dull, older as if they had seen too much.

He didn't understand what she was saying and somehow he knew that asking her wouldn't make a difference. Maybe he wasn't suppose to understand. Once more he asked himself why he was standing here in the dark what seemed to be a cementary, with her. 

"I understand," he lied. 

For the second time since met her high up in the mountain, a smile broke unto her weary face. Her eyes narrowed as her smile widened. "No you don't Seifer," she said, shaking her head. "But you will in time."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked.

The smile in her eyes disappeared in an instant, but to his suprise, he was glad the sad look didn't appear instead. There was something seriously wrong here, what did he care if she was sad or not? She turned and walked away once again.

__

I'm not going to follow her anymore, if she doesn't want to tell, fine, I don't care.

She held still to turn around. "Don't you want to hear the story?"

Seifer smoothed his hair back with his gloved hand more out of habit than vainity, a slight grin appearing on his face as he ran after her.

* * * *

Quistis watched the shimmering lights of Deling City in the distance, as Selphie piloted the Ragornak to a steady landing-spot near the city. Not much later she heard a familiar thump to announce their arrival in Galbadia. Everyone gathered on the grassy fields, just outside Deling City when everybody turned to look at Quistis. The question in their eyes didn't need to be voiced, however it did expect an answer.

Did she actually have a plan? No, their instructor had brought them here in a hostile land, without the slightest idea of next the thing to do. Maybe they were really right after all. She had no leader qualifications whatsoever. Driven by worry and fear, she had acted on impulse, now she stood here with her brothers and sisters, facing an unknown enemy. All she had been thinking of was what Squall would be thinking now, would he blame them for her action. But how could he not understand, while her action was based on the same motives as he had. 

Now glancing around the grassy plains of Galbadia, she whished Squall would be here to help her, she wished to hear his voice ordering them to their next course of action, she wished for a plan Squall would have made, she needed his support in this mission. But this wasn't just a mission, was it? It was a crusade against injustice and his stubborn love, and this was the one thing he could never help her with. 

When she glanced at the faces of her teammates, her war-buddies, her friends, she realized that she was their leader now. That they would accept and trust every word leaving her beatuiful lips. They would step in a sea of fire, if she asked them to do so, without even questioning her motives. For the first time in her life, she understood Squall's reluctance about leadership. 

Quistis was mistaken, Squall was the one person to help her with this. All she needed to do was close her eyees and envision Squall standing next to her. With the familiar frown on his face, she only needed to follow his course of thinking and her answer would be there. 

__

Believe in your friends existence and they will believe in yours.

Quistis knew that Squall believed in her and she on her turn had her faith in Squall, she believed in every single bone of his body. 

"We're going to see Caraway, even if she isn't with him, he most likely will be the one to know where she is," Quistis said in a pragmatic tone. 

Everyone nodded without saying a single word, silently accepting the order from her. It was not only for Squall she needed to bring this problem to an end, it was also for the lives of these young people walking beside her.

Everyone seemed to deal with their own inner thoughts, as no one spoke a word on their way to Caraway's mansion. The dull sound of their footsteps on the concrete footpath and the noises of the cars and people rushing by them were the only sounds heard. The streets were full of people but no one took notice of the four young disturbed SeeDs passing them by. Everyone was dealing with their own problems, to them saving a hero meant nothing.

__

Not until he's gone forever.

She couldn't possibly imagine that there could be people who wouldn't care if Squall died. That there actually were those who could sleep without tossing and turning and thinking of what was to happen for a second.

They finally reached the gates to Caraway's Mansion. Suprisingly enough there was no guard guarding the place. It seemed odd that a man of general Caraway's status, should leave his mansion unguarded. Despite Timber's liberation, there were still people who held a grudge against him.

The party held still and everyone glanced at Quistis once more, waiting for a descision of her. And as a silent agreement she walked in first leading her team-mates in. When she reached the familiar oak-door door, she rung the copper antique bell to announce their presence. Maybe this door was to be their door for all the answer and solutions they would need.

After what seemed an eternity the door was finally opened, but just a little to show the face of an elder woman dressed in a black and white servants uniform, hiding behind the door she sized them up, with a cautious look on her face.

"What can I do for you?" sounded her voice, trembling with age.

"We've come to see the general," Quistis replied.

The woman tried to close the door, but Quistis who saw what she was trying to do, squeezed her foot in the doorpost before it was closed. She saw the panic in the woman's eyes, if it were a different situation and under different circumstances, she never would have tried to take advantage of it, but this was no ordinary mission and there were just situations which required a harsh approach.

She pushed her way into the door, making the old lady trip. Immediatly Quistis bent down to help her on her feet again. Glancing down at the startled and somewhat shocked woman, she tried to explain her behavior.

"Listen, we are not enemies of the general. We're SeeDs from Garden and we've come all the way here for a reason. This is not a trivial matter, please take us to the general or I will search this house up side down until I find him, I can assure you that we will not leave until we've spoken to him," Quistis said, with a persistent look on her face.

The lips of her team-mates formed themselves into a silent 'o', startled to watch their friend in this manner.

The old woman nodded and agreed to bring them to see the general. Quistis didn't see the surprise on the face of her friends as she was caught up in her thoughts of what to say to the general when they would meet him. The woman led them through a hallway, poorly lit up by a single lamp, emitting a faint light. The Trabia-wooden dressoirs and doors were the only decorations. The interior of this mansion gave her an uncomfortable feeling. Which suprised her, she had come here before but never had she felt herself unsave in this house. The entire interior seemed unfamiliar even though she had seen it a few times. She was sure something was different in this, an invisble change, but yet strong enough to sense.

The woman turned when they reached the end of the hallway and motioned them to step back, as she turned again to knock on the door. After a clear 'come in' by what was unmistakbly Caraway's voice, she entered the room, closing the door behind her back.

"That's damn rude," Zell muttered under his breath. No one responded to his remark as they all seemed to be elsewhere with their minds.

After what seemed a minute the door was opened and the old lady appeared on the doorstep once again. The suspiscion in her eyes had disappeared, instead their was now a sympatatic look in her faint grey eyes.

"You may come in," was her short remark. Quistis unconsciously tightend the grip on her whip as they all entered the room. After a quick glance around the room, she noticed this had to be the general's official office. But strangely enough it didn't seem like a regular place, where officials would work in, there were masses of papers spread around the entire room, clothes lay on the floor as if they were carelessly thrown there by someone and the stuffy smell told her that this room wasn't ventialated for days.

Why would a man of Caraway's status stay in a place like this. The few times Quistis had met him, he appeared a strict man to her, fully aware of his position and all that came with it.

There he was, gazing out of the window with his back to her, his hands folded behind his back. After a long sigh he turned to face them

He seemed different. The last time she saw him, he had seemed more vital. She rememberd his swift walk when he gave his instruction on the sorceress assassination, the determence in his eyes when he reminded them to give everything they had in this mission. But they didn't and had failed miserably instead.

"Sir, we're here . . . . ," she said as he did not speak, but Caraway vigoursly motioned her not to speak. He pulled his jacket a little wider for her to see a small device attached to the black fabric on the inside. 

__

Someone was recording their conversation?

"Yes I know very well why you're here. I'll say it for the millionth time, I do not have the time to deal with students asking me for favours all the time, I'm not a charity institution."

A startled look stole over her face. _What was this?_ She watched the general grabbing a notebook on the the desk behind him and noting something down. When he was finished he handed her the notebook.

__

We're being recorded. For Hyne's sake, don't mention you're from garden. 

Keep talking. He'll know.

Is it about Rinoa? Is she safe?

Who will know what? Quistis took the pen out of his hand and wrote something down. "B-but, I just need a small favour general. I need money for my education, so if you could just hire me," she spoke aloud, playing along.

__

Squall is in danger. We don't know where Rinoa is.

We came looking for her, we have to find her fast.

Who is recording this?

"I have plently of men serving me, why would I want to hire you?" Quistis noticed a slight sign of relief on his face when he read her note. _Was he so happy to hear that Squall was in danger?_

Don't look for her, please. She needs to stay away from Garden.

Now leave. I have nothing further to say to you.

"Because I'll do whatever it takes to accomplish my goal," Quistis said out loud, glancing up from the note in her hand to meet his gaze. "With or without your help."

The general sighed as he watched how the young woman standing in front of him turned and walked out of the door.

__

Rinoa is safe . . . . . for now.

* * * *

"Seifer what have you done all this time?"

Starled by her question he looked up from the piece of wood he was sharpening with his pocket-knife. It was not the question itself which suprised him, but the sincereness he heard in her voice. She didn't turn her face towards him, but instead gazed into the darkness of the empty park. After they had met again on the mountain, she had told him that she was residing in Galbadia hotel, same one he was staying with in Rajin and Fujin.

Somehow they boh seemed reluctant to go back to their hotel, for some unknown reasons they decided to wander around the city a bit and ended up sitting on this bench in Deling City park. Besides the few parklamps the park was covered in darkness. They had been sitting silently next to each other for a while, when she suddenly asked him this question. It didn't seem as if she was trying to get some information out of him to give to Squall.

She seemed as if she was a girl, sitting next to him enjoying the warm summer-evening, intrested in what he had to say. But she wasn't just a girl, right? She was the most powerful sorceress of this era, Squall's girl, practically a member of SeeD, so how could she be intrested in what he had to say?

"Not much, fooling around," he replied. Yeah, that was basically what he's life was about these days. Fishing, drinking and hanging out. The first day he had enjoyed it, he was loving the careless laughters he heard coming from his throat. He was surprised to see he had missed just hanging out with his posse. He had thought being a sorceress knight was the highlight of his life, that nothing could possibly replace this feeling of power and greatness. 

But after all as the mist of power cleared, he saw his two friends standing beside him. For the first time in his life he realized that they were a part of him, his confidence was always based on them. Even though this dependance filled him with fright, it also comforted him in a strange way. Everything was now they were suppose to, his posse walking behind him, ready to follow him to where ever his thoughts might bring them.

After catching up with lost time of fun, he realized that fun wasn't why he was on this earth. He realized that fishing wasn't his dream, he realized that looking forward to another day of sitting in a bar wasn't his definition of a future.

He had been waiting for an oppurtunity to seize, in his sub-conscious he was hoping that chance was going to knock on his hotel-door, ordering him to a life of recognizition. He knew this and he hated it, he hated this despicable feeling of fright for choosing another path, to make another descision that might result in him ending up in another bar. But despite his fear for the unknown he wouldn't wait for fate to give him a break, he didn't care whether it was written in stars that he was suppose to sit and drown in an ocean of sorrow. Everything that is written can be erased in a single wipe, he wouldn't drown, he would swim to surface and higher.

"I see."

No she didn't, but she would in time, she would see the fallen eagel fly again. He shook his head. Why did he care whether she saw him arise again or not, why did he care that she was there to see him? The whys he did not know, but he knew that it was somehow important that he erased every trace of her picture of him as the tragic knight. 

"You will," he said.

Before she could reply to his comment they saw a man in the distance, kneeling in front of the Deling statue, as though he wanted to pay his respects to the fallen president. After a while he got up and with a nod he left the statue.

"Talking about being a fan," Seifer remarked.

"I wonder why he did that. I thought everyone in Galbadia was glad they were rid of Deling, the man was a tyran," she said, he heard the familiar anger in her voice.

He rememberd how serious she took the Forest Owls, how passionate she had been about her cause. Maybe that's what drew him to her, why he did everything in his might to help her, they seemed alike. Both were fighting for something they believed in, he for his dream and she for hers.

But they weren't alike, he saw that now. Between them was a world of difference, she could change her ideals. She had accomplished one goal, now she would drift off to another one. With him things were different of course. His ideals concerned his life, and he would never be done with one. When he reached where he wanted to be, he'd have to fight the rest of his life to maintain his position, to fight for his throne. How could he say they were alike?

But despite all that, he realized that he was pleased to hear the passion return in her voice once more.

"He wasn't," Seifer said, still busy sharpening the branch in his hand. "He was a moron in fact, he wouldn't be anywhere without the sorceress, she was the only one in charge."

"Well, I still don't free him from all blame," she responded.

"Are you still intending on telling me why you're here?" Seifer asked suddenly after a pause, turning his head to face her but before their eyes met, she turned her glance to the starlit sky above.

"I couldn't stay in Garden anymore," Rinoa replied after a long pause. Her hand reached unconsciously for the rings on her neckalce, as though they would give her encourgment to continue. Her fingers stroked the delicate engravings of Griever. All she had of him was now Griever, with that thought she continued.

"For a while I thought that maybe there would be some happiness after the world was saved. Maybe some time to work on our own inner worlds. And for a while we did. I should have known things were going too well, after all the things I've seen in the past year, I should have known that nothing was what it seemed. The home I thought I finally had found seemed to be nothing more than me forcing it into a realisation of a wish."

"What happened then?"

"Squall told me to leave. He told me stories about how things weren't suppose to be like this, that he didn't love me, that I wouldn't be happy here. Without even thinking about what he was saying I understood one clear message_, just leave me._ Leave me alone. And even _that_ is acceptable."

"But . . . . ?"

"But . . . there was something else he was not telling me. Instead he told me a lie, he lied to me as if his life depened on it. I clearly remember the despair in his eyes when I refused to accept his explanations, I remember him thinking of one excuse after another, all this effort, just to get rid of me. Well, I cannot force affection, so I had no choice but to pack up and leave another illusion mistaken for reality."

So Squall had dissed her! Even though there was something in him which made him think that wasn't all of it. Was she just upset because her boyfriend dumped her? So she had come here to cry about _him_? Somehow it didn't seem like this was just another teenproblem of a boyfriend leaving his girl. There was a deeper meaning to all this, and his instinct told him there was something improtant going on. But then again, should he trust something as vague and untrustworthy as his instinct?

As though a thought had told her, Rinoa suddenly stood up and walked a few feet away from him. Folding her arms in front of her chest she just stood there with her back towards him, to overlook the dim park in silence. The evening breeze picked her willing locks up in the air, waving them out in the air. She stood there a feet or two away from the parklamp, casting a faint glow on part of her body. For some strange reason this sight caught him in fascination, his eyes were drawn to the young woman standing before him. Half in the light and slowly fading into the darkness, she stood there as though she was contemplating whether to step into the light or hide in the safe comfort of darkness. 

He shook his head, was he really changing his view on her?

* * * *

"I believe I'm missing something here," Irvine remarked, throughly confused, "we entered the room for information about Rinoa and you end up exchanging notes and asking him for money."

"Yeah, we've got plenty of gil to buy up a town like Winhill!" added Selphie, casting her big hazel eyes at her former instructor in confusion.

"Listen, this is what happened," Quistis spoke, "You saw that little device he showed us on his jacket. Well someone is obviously recording his conversations. In order to fool whoever was listening, we had to carry on a conversation."

"What did he say on the notes?" asked Irvine.

"Nothing that can be much of help, only that we have to stay away from Rinoa. Caraway doesn't know where she is and he is very eager for us not to find out either."

"Why's that?" asked Zell her.

Quistis sighed. "I don't know, I honestly don't know. There is just so many mysteries a mind can handle, in fact I don't even know if I have the strentgh to pursue just another one."

"So where are we going next?" Zell asked, obviously tired of the lack of action.

Quistis paused and her familiar thoughtful look appeared on her face. In where Squall's pensive looks seemed authoritive and not to be mocked with, Irvine couldn't help but finding the way Quistis bit on her lower lip and knitted her brows, extremely cute. Though he valued his life enough not to remark it.

Bossy little Quisty, standing there with determence in her gorgeous blue eyes. He couldn't help but feel admiration when he saw her passion to save Squall. She would die for him, right? Do anything for someone who would never return her love, it made her all the more noble in his eyes. He loved her, that much he had realized in these past few days. How could he not love the fire in her eyes, though saddned that this flame would go wasted and was most likely to die out in a whimper, never noticed by those who should.

Finally she woke up from her slumber of thoughts and eyed them one by one, until she settled her glance at Irvine, as if he was the only one who could support her mentally in this. "We are going to Timber. We'll do some check-ups, ask around her old friends. Surely Watts and Zone must know about her whereabouts. We will be taking off in an hour, be sure to buy up some neccessities for your equipement and . . . . take a rest."

"I'm gonna look for new issues of Combat Kings, who's gonna come with me?" Zell said. 

"Sure, I'm coming," Selphie replied, she turned to look at Quistis and Irvine. "You guys coming?"

"No, I'll just wait up here and rest," Quistis said.

"How 'bout you Irvy?"

"Nah, I think I'll just stay here with Quistis."

"Okay, see ya." Selphie ran off towards the Deling City shopping centre, with Zell following close behind her. 

Quistis walked towards an old rusty iron bench, across of Caraway's mansion, as she sat, Irvine seated next to her. The wind blew her gold brands in her face, it felt like how a sick man must feel when a wet towel is pressed against his forehead. Grateful she inhaled the evening air. She placed her elbows on her knees, creating with her hands a resting place for her cheeks. Quistis breathed a sigh of weariness. 

All the while, Irvine eyed her from aside, gazing at her heated cheeks, the gold of her hair falling in her weary face, her delicate facial features compressed in thought. His fingers unconsciously wandered to her back. They sat there for a while, silently, his hand gently stroking her back and shoulder in comfort, playing with some escaped strands of her blonde hair.

"Three days have passed," she spoke up absent-mindly, "27 days left, actually three weeks, five days and three hours."

"Don't do this," Irvine said, the firm tone in his voice sounded unfamiliar. 

"Do what?"

"This, your constant mental panic," he said. "It cannot be good. You are trying so hard to penetrate this negativeness in your mind, to convince yourself of the urgency, because you are afraid you'll loose your prespective in your grief."

She sat there, facing away from him, silently listening to his words.

"Remember when you told me Squall didn't need your tears but a chance of life," he continued. "You were wrong Quistis, he needs both, your love is what's going to give him life in the end. Focus on your love, think of the good things, think of _why_ you need to go through all this again, as that is the only thing to save him."

Quistis finally turned to him, her blue eyes seemed darker in the faint light of the streetlamps. On her face lay an expression of gratitude and surprise. Irvine smiled shyly and somewhat embarrased about his outburst. But she shoved a bit closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. Her gesture had put hum off-guard and was unsure of what to think of this sudden act of intimacy. But he put his arm around her, as if to shelter her from the wind howling through the streets of night-time Deling City.

"I love you," she whispered.

__

I wish you really would

"Oh well, who doesn't?."

* * * *

[**Author's note**: Ok, I promise some more action in the next chapter. In fact I've already finished it, I just need to edit some stuff. You know, it always amazes me that people read my notes, it means that they've actually read the story. I'm always on the verge of pressing that 'delete' button and spare some valuable webspace from this literary garbage. But I do thank you for sacrifcing your valuable time with reading this story and by all means do feel free to critize this. I'm not very sensitive, so I can handle some constructive critism, I beg for it in fact. Oh this is not going to be a RinoaxSeifer fic, I've never liked to divide stories into pairing categories. I liked to see it as story of individuals. Ok, I'll stop rambling, and remember, the rabbit did it!]


	6. 6 - Planning Ahead

Changing Faces

By Valensia

[Disclaimer: I'm a 18 year old teenager who works in Mc'Donalds and _I'm_ suppose to own Final Fantasy? Obvious I thought. No, I'm just a ignorant little thief who steals the great ideas of Squaresoft. But sue them for making Final Fantasy and for turning me into a kleptomaniac! Oh yeah, I'd like to thank my friend Chris for giving me the will to continue this story. Thankies! ^_^] 

Planning ahead

Jules Artica glanced at the faces sitting before him at the glass conference table. He scanned their faces one by one, and it pleased him to see the suspicion, wariness and curiosity in their faint money-absorbed eyes. As long as their feelings were visible to him, he had nothing to worry about but his plan. 

"I have gathered you here today for an important matter," he started, "For Galbadia to start with a new era of prosperity and peace, we must first eliminate all that stands in our way. You must all agree that Garden has caused us a lot of trouble in the past. They have assassinated many a Galbadian soldier, slain innocent Galbadian men and women. We could not possibly continue prospering while there is always a powerful enemy to stand on look-out for."

He had pressed the right button. Before him the grim faces of the men and women almost as instantly turned into a malicious content at the thought of the annihilation of Garden. SeeD was a common enemy that would bound the Galbadians once more, led by their President. 

"If Garden doesn't hand over the SeeDs who were involved in the riots last year, within three days, we shall declare war upon them. But knowing its students, being young and idealistic as they are, they would never allow their commander to be handed over. They will most likely form a mutiny instead. Either way, we will have war with Garden, in a weakened position."

War! The magic word, their lust for battle was heated up and for the first time he saw the admiration in their eyes. The result of his speech was exactly as how he had expected it to be, a fair promise for human will. His most important lesson.

For the following three hours they discussed their offense strategy and other details. The Galbadian spirit was alive once more, there was a war to prepare for, a name to defend and money to be made in the nearby future.

As the conference neared its ending, he stood up once more, forcing a loyal Galbadian spirit which did not exist within him, he said: "Remember, For Galbadia!!!"

"For Galbadia!!" they spoke in unison, their enthusiasm fired in their eyes. 

But in his mind he spoke a different oath. _For Julia!_

* * * *

Cid gazed out of the window of what used to be his office, until they had found out about Garden's mobility. He brushed his fingers through his balding head in an act of weariness. Before him lay the green fields of Balamb, its grassy fingers stretching out until the horizon. The very presence of organism was evidence of the miracle that had occurred half a year ago. Thanks to the courageous heart of his SeeD's he was able to look upon the meadows of his beloved Balamb now. 

SeeD, founded to save the world one day. What he thought was an accomplished goal, had become a terrible illusion. The savior becoming an enemy. He did not know what to do, for the first time in his life he prayed for a less decisive position. One order from him could ruin his conscious or the world. There was only one way or the other, wasn't that what he had said to Squall, in what seemed centuries in the past?

A knock on the door woke him up from his pondering. Sighing he let the visitors in, knowing that when these people stepped out of his office, nothing would ever be the same again.

A serious faced man in a green uniform came in, Martin, president of Galbadia Garden, followed by a middle-aged woman dressed in a similar uniform, headmistress of Trabia Garden, but wearing a green skirt instead of pants. Cid saluted them and motioned them to sit down in the seats before his desk.

"Thank you very much for coming here," Cid started, though he rather wished them to disappear instantly. "I ordered you here to discuss a most vital matter, that of the fate of the world. I'm sure you've got the reports I've sent you informing of the current situation. Before we start, have you got any questions?"

Shera Wallace, head of Trabia Garden, spoke up first. "The report stated that the sorceress still forms a threat, how is that? Didn't the SeeDs defeat her in the future."

"Yes, indeed," replied Cid, "or so we thought. Ultimecia seems to be calling upon one of our SeeDs, Squall Leonheart. Tests have shown evidence of a presence in the boy's mind. He himself stated that it was Ultimecia's and that she is after the only sorceress of this era, Miss Rinoa Heartilly. Our theory is that she wants to take her over again, using this boy."

"That would be disastrous!" said Martin horrified, "she would be acquiring the developed powers of two sorceress, plus her own. She would be undefeatable!"

Cid sighed. "Yes, that is why dr. Odine is working on a solution."

Martin stood up, his eyes narrowed in anger. "I cannot believe you're even waiting. The solution is so simple that's its almost ridiculous. I say we should eliminate the threat immediately!"

Cid crossed his arms in front of his chest with a thoughtful look on his aged face. His brown eyes narrowing in thought. This was exactly what he was fearing all the while. He had known all the while that there was only one decision to make.

"Cid, I understand how you feel," Shera spoke, her voice soft but clear, "but you have no choice in this. It is only two lives. What are they compared to all the billions thinking themselves to be safe in their homes."

Cid looked up in suprise. "Two lives?"

"Yes, the sorceress and the boy," said Martin. "It's fairly simple, we can send one or two of our best snipers, one bullet and the world is safe."

Cid shook his head. "No, no, no, why the boy?" he asked in disbelieve, "he saved the world for Hyne's sake. I understand the threat of a sorceress. But if there is no sorceress to possess, there won't be any threats left. Why the unnecessary slaughter?"

Shera stood up too. "Cid, don't fool yourself. If Ultimecia really lives in his body, how can you even contemplate allowing him to live?"

"There is no real evidence that she actually lives within him. All we have is a vague statement of him hearing alien voices. We're not even sure is she is even capable of action in the state she is in."

"So will you risk her taking over the world, before you undertake any action?" Martin exclaimed.

Cid eyes widened in agony. This couldn't be. Not Squall, the boy was a damn hero. He risked his own life just to save theirs. Was this how they wished to express their gratitude to a noble man? By presenting him a bullet through his courageous heart, as a gift.

"I will not have it," he exclaimed, his voice trembling with fury. "I lay my will and conscious down by the execution of the sorceress, but I will not have the death of Squall."

Shera shook her head, sadness and pity spoke out of her green eyes. "I'm sorry Cid, but your conscious nor your will matter in this. There is only one decision to make here, if you wish to retreat, we will understand, though we will continue to stay true to Garden's ideal of protecting the world. You know what measurements we have to take should you choose to intervene."

He sniffed sardonically. Of course he knew what they would do. Wasn't he the one who came up with these measurements in the first place? A goal was a goal, every obstacle should be eliminated at once.

"I will do it," Cid spoke finally, his voice pragmatic, drained from any emotion. "I will send the order for the assignation of the sorceress and . . . . Squall Leonheart, me and only me. Should anything go wrong, I will act upon it immediately and carry out the mission personally. I won't stand and watch their death. I started all this and I will be the one to finish it."

Shera smiled, though at that moment it seemed to him that the beauty he had once admired in her had faded into a heartless marble statue. To him, she was the ugliest sight he had ever laid eyes upon.

"I furiously hope you don't have any conscience left to answer to." For his had vanished when the fatal affirmation left his lips.

"It's not our conscience you need to worry about," Martin said, "you better think of how to save the world."

* * * *

Silence hung in the darkened room, beams of moonlight fell in through the open balcony doors, creating a silhouette of a young man rising from his bed. His shadows swiftly moving through the room, walking towards the antique mirror on the wall.

His fingers searched for the light switch in the dark, pressing the button to welcome the light and casting away the darkness he was trapped in. From across another world, opposite to his, was a young man gazing at him, his chest bare and wearing only leather pants, the skin around his deep blue eyes a couple of shades darker than the rest of his face, his dark strands of hair fell in his face, partially covering the scar across his forehead. His once generous lips formed into a thin line of weariness. Though the man looked exactly like him, he was frightened at his sight. He was frightened of the ease in which he could imagine that nothing was wrong. No expression of an alien mind, no evidence of a presence. Just an extremely tired Squall Leonheart.

"Damnit, show yourself!" he hissed at his reflection. "Show that you are here, talk to me. Speak, of anything. Tell me that I'm not living in a constant insecurity for nothing, that I have a reason to stay away from Rinoa, that I will not die for something which only exists in my words. 

But the Squall in the opposing world just glared back at him, silently mimicking his lips. Somehow this entire situation seemed surreal and unlogical. Thirty days, Odine had said, thirty days and the voice in his head would kill him. A voice he had only heard once. 

Behind him the door was suddenly burst open, without as much as a polite knock President Laguna of Esthar walked into the room, wearing an urgent expression on his face. 

"Hey, S-squall," he yelled at him, though they were present in the same room. Squall turned away from the mirror to watch him calmly.

"You're not gonna believe this, I've got bad news and worse news," he said, trying to catch up his breath between the words.

"Just tell me what it is," Squall said, slightly annoyed.

"Ok, first the bad news," Laguna said, clasping his hand on his thigh, "your friends just left. Last night, they have taken the Ragornak and just . . . went. They didn't tell anyone about their plans. Got any idea on where they went?"

Squall had a hard time not to display his displeasure about this. Of course he knew where they went, they went to get Rinoa, make her die for his sake. But he understood their motives, he didn't blame them, but he did however wish they would have respected his.

"They went to get Rinoa," he replied calmly.

Laguna paused, scratching the back of his head with his hand. "Oh, it wasn't bad news after all then."

Squall sighed. "And what is the worst news?"

"Oh yeah, Galbadia has declared war upon Garden if they don't hand over the SeeDs who were involved in the issues last year, ya know, with the sorceress thing and all. They have given them three days, Balamb Garden is in a total panic. Oh yeah, they're looking for Rinoa too, because she had been involved. This way they will get their hands on the sorceress, maybe they seek revenge or just feel the need for an execu- ."

"Okay, spare me the analysis," Squall spoke annoyed. This was absurd, how many wars could a world endure? 

"So what did Cid say about this ultimatum?" 

"Dunno, all this girl told us, I think Xu was her name, was that Galbadia was looking for you and your friends."

What was he suppose to do with this information? Was he to go back to Garden to aid them in this battle? There was no way Garden could possibly engage successfully in another war. The recent events of this past year had really worn out their equipment. All they could do was postpone the inevitable execution.

"Can you prepare transportation to Balamb Garden, for me," he asked quietly, already in his mind calculating the pros and cons for Galbadia's interest. He needed to find out, what they really were up to. If they were really up to seizing him and his friends, wouldn't they have done it already, caught them right in the middle of Garden's distress? 

"Huh, Garden?" Laguna asked, "Why don't you wait for your friends to return first, they might have some news, y'know, just to see things out.

"I'm leaving to Balamb Garden, you can either help me with this or I'll go off on my own, but there is no words to convince me of staying, so use none of that sort."

Laguna paused, studying the young man before him. The young valiant warrior, Squall Leonheart, bearing the name of the equally stubborn Raine, the name he had changed to protect him from his opposers. After seventeen years he still did not know why he had abandoned Squall and little Ellone. It was a time in which he had thought that leaving them was the best solution, that he had no choice, that there were billions of people waiting for him. But now, as he stood in this luxurious room in the presidential residence, a president standing before a courageous subject, he could not for the world find one good reason why he had left him. Was there even one reason, just one reason with a value that could outweigh a broken childhood?

Behind him Laguna had left a trail of broken hearts, that of Raine, of Ellone and of Squall. Was he even allowed to feel this pride for a son he did not deserve, as if he were a father that raised a hero?

Thirty days, from which three already had passed. This was his chance to undo all that was done, fate had granted him an undeserving second chance and he would seize it this time. He would never live to see the day of Squall's death.

"I'm coming with you," Laguna finally said, his voice firm with determence.

Squall's frown deepened, his eyes narrowed to size this man before him up, as if his blue eyes held the answer to every possible question. But he didn't speak, just nodded absent-minded. Laguna's boyish grin broadened at this wavering acceptance.

"I'll prepare for departure, see ya in two hours at the air station," Laguna told him, as he walked happily away.

******

"Come in," Cid spoke with a dull of voice, he sat behind his desk in the headmasters office. The view of the Balamb meadows that once captured his breath in awe, seemed nothing more than a collection of grass, the decoration of his office which went back to the Trabia civilization of centuries ago could not hold his fascination anymore, these were just relics with no meaning, stone drained from the beauty he had once admired.

Two young SeeDs entered in his office, saluting before him in honor of a broken man. A young male and female, both professional snipers at the age of seventeen, dressed in the proper SeeD uniform with the Trabia and Galbadia Garden emblem. Cid sighed, finally realizing that these were just children, he was sending children out against children.

"Thank you both for coming here," he spoke, starting his speech like he did with so many in his life, but knowing fully well that this was going to be the last one he would ever give, he had never imagined it to be like this. 

"I assume you overlooked the briefing that has been sent to you," he continued, both students nodding in conformation. "Alright, we'll go over this again. Your first target will be Squall Leonheart, he will be arriving tomorrow at 8:00 hours at the front entrance of Balamb Garden with the company of perhaps several officials. You are to shoot right away, disregard of the officials, though try to your fullest not to harm them. Is that understood?"

The two SeeDs nodded. Two fellow SeeDs who only knew Squall from the glossy papers, to them he meant just another mission, just another source of income and that was exactly why Cid had chosen them. He wouldn't saddle young SeeDs with the burden of guilt that would wreck their future. The only one needed to suffer in this was Cid and . . . Squall.

"But the briefing didn't mention the exact details of the assassination of the sorceress. When will we be informed of that mission?" asked Scarlett, named after her red unruly curls, a young SeeD from Galbadia Garden. She was famous for her accuracy with a rifle as well as for her pragmatic attitude. She originally grew up with her abusive foster parents in Dollet. Years of survival had thought her that there was no reason to smile in a world where young children were abandoned in a monster's lair, to be eaten up. The parents happy that there was now a mouth less to feed. Scarlett didn't care whether this guy had saved the world or not. Even hero's need to sacrifice.

"We are in the middle of tracking her whereabouts, you will be informed in due time," Cid replied.

"Okay, we will be ready," said the other SeeD standing next to Scarlett, young Neo. He was slightly younger than Scarlett, in many ways. His happy childhood made him into an easygoing young man, with bright curious brown eyes, whereas Scarlett's were green and observing. Unlike many other pupil, Neo actually enjoyed these missions. Armed with his favorite possession, a 44x Cronus, he was the first to accept any mission. And he never hesitated to talk endlessly about his dreams of becoming a hero one day, he was perhaps the most noticeable student in whole of Trabia Garden.

"Okay, be ready in approximately nine hours," Cid said. Suddenly he wondered what Edea would be thinking of what she once thought was to be a noble knight. They once used to understand each other's motives without even speaking. They once used to share one cause to live, to maintain a world in which their children could live without the fear of injustice. Was he not defying their beliefs with his actions? Would she understand him? Could he touch her still with these blood stained hands? Was he even deserving of her anymore?

* * * *

[**Author's note**: Do not worry, these two SeeDs will not play a major role in the story. I know no one likes too many orgininal characters. And the next chapter is already and will be posted in two days or so (I don't want to post too soon, just giving some people to anticipate ^_^) I have a lot of ideas on how the story will continue, so stay with me for a while.] 


	7. 7 - Death of an ideal

Changing Faces - Part 7 ****

Changing Faces

Death of an ideal

Everyone has a theory about the silent one, the bitter one.

Dad was always away. 

Love hasn't been very generous. 

Luck was an archenemy of the worst kind. 

That is why he turns away from human affection. 

But never had any observer noticed the discomfort of the prying eyes of curiosity. And Squall felt the same thing now, as he felt the observing eyes of Laguna scanning his face for emotions, watching him like an optic illusion, in the hope of seeing the hidden surface of an image he had managed to glimpse, before reality mocked his assumptions.

He adverted his eyes from him and glanced out of the airplane window. The familiar grassy fields of Balamb came in sight, there, was that not the Fire Cavern? For a split second he allowed his sensible mind to wonder how different things would have been, had he not entered that cave a year ago. What if he hadn't made it, what if the injury Seifer had inflicted on him had been too severe, would all the chaos of the past year have happened? Would he have been able to forget a past he could not remember for the life of him? Would he have accepted the unsolved mysteries in the long run? Would he have had other things that were more worthy of his attention?

"Please fasten your seatbelts, we'll arrive at Balamb in ten minutes," the voice of the head pilot sounded over the intercom, forcing Squall back from useless questions no one could answer to a reality that was too damn clear.

Automatically he followed the pilot's instructions and Laguna did the same. His face now more relaxed with the thought of leaving the plane very soon.

Squall watched Balamb Garden become greater as it neared his vision. It was stationed near the place it had once claimed as Balamb garden, but now had become nothing more than a dusty deserted crater.

The entrance to Garden was totally empty, while usually it was crowded with students who preferred the natural sunlight and grass over the brilliant perfection of the interior. And for a Garden who had to prepare for a likely war, it was suspiciously quiet. It was then when he noticed streaks of fiery red contrasting with the metallic gray of above Balamb garden's entrance. His delicate shaped brows knitted in a deep frown as he bent towards the window to get a closer look. The wind was playing with locks of red, hair which belonged to a student, judging by the length, it was female.

The view of the student above the Garden entrance grew sharper as the plane neared the ground. She lay flat on her chest, he couldn't see her face as the red locks waved in front of her eyes. Squall's mind quickly calculated his assumptions against the likeliness of facts. She was clearly on the outlook for something.

As the plane announced its contact with the earth with a thumping vibration, he suddenly recognized in her the familiar position of a sniper. Head low, eyes fixed on a moving target, one leg slightly bent to reach up quickly if necessary and hands apart on an object which he couldn't identify but knew instinctively what it was.

She was on the outlook for _someone._

Squall hadn't noticed that the plane had stopped moving until he saw Laguna bidding him to come. The steward had opened the stair-door for him and stepped aside to let the president through. Squall glanced at the over-heading above the entrance of Garden. He could not see the girl from this angle, but he knew she was there. And her eyes had been fixed on the position where their plane was stationed now. While he gave himself one last inwardly curse, he stood and jumped towards Laguna who had already started to descend the stairs.

"No!! Wait!"

* * * *

Cid walked over the marble halls of Balamb Garden with a grave look on his aging face. His shoulders hung like that of man who is being lead towards the guillotine by the masked fate. His eyes fixed in space, indifferent to whatever was happening around him. Why should he care? In a few moments nothing would matter anymore. As far as he was concerned, they were leading a dead man towards his execution. Cid was no longer. For Cid had been the man Edea once loved, Cid had been the man who had held Edea close as they watched their children grow. That was a man who had been worthy of her affection. But he was not the Cid she used to bestow her smiles upon. Her husband had died in that accursed Garden a day ago, making of her a living widow. He could no longer love her, for she belonged to another man.

With that thought he stepped outside Garden, walking the stone walkway until the entrance. Here he was to wait until one bullet would finish everything. The older student, Scarlett, had already taken her position on entrance roof and Neo was already waiting from the 2F classroom window. 

Cid took the small machinegun he carried under his armpit, to free his hand to weep off the sweat of his forehead. Little watery traces of salt trailed their way down his face which had never seemed so old as it did now. A man in his forties, who seemed amicable and goodhearted at first sight, dressed in his regular clothes. Who would think him a monster?

A difference in the Balamb meadow snapped his thoughts back to alert. The airship neared Balamb Garden with the speed and elegance of an eagle. The white eagle, now about to be trapped by the black mouse. 

He emptied his mind of thoughts, he drained his body of feelings and he filled himself with the soothing indifference. Cid readied his weapon, the same weapon which had saved Edea's life so many times. Now this would be the same weapon to kill her idealistic illusions.

The plane had reached the ground and was now racing towards him. The painted Estharian flag became clearer with every second. Carrying Squall Leonheart towards his destiny. No, damnit, this was no destiny for him. He wasn't meant to die like this. To be assassinated? Not even granted an honorable battle. God, Edea, what would she think? What was she doing now? Was she strolling by the beach, smiling in silent reverie. Musing about how the orphanage once used to be?

__

Damn her, Edea died. She is no longer for me . . . . . like I'm no longer for her.

The white door, with the built-in stairs was slowly opening, as if in a cruel urge for sensation to extend the suspension beyond endurance. Long locks of dark hair appeared, a tall man, stepping casually down the stairs. It was when he reached half-way that Cid realized who this was.

__

President Laguna of Esthar

Esthar, the cosmopolitan high-tech city, with the arms and men beyond imagination. Before Cid had the time to break of his shock, a shot sounded over his head. It seemed far away, audible but insensible, as if shot under water.

In the split second before that bullet would meet the sheath of human flesh, Cid just stood there, watching the approaching death of the president, the end of Garden and the world. Even now, the end of Garden filled him with hurt, the hurt of acknowledging his failure. Even now, this still mattered to him, the world still did, the welfare of his students and . . . . . Edea still did.

But the bullet never met the flesh it sought out.

Cid saw just how the president was being pulled back by his collar, surprisingly taken from behind. Had it been in another situation, it would have been funny to see how the president was dragged back into the plane. Oh how he wished this to be another situation, how he wished for an occasion to laugh.

Just before the plane raced away, as quickly and graceful as it had arrived, he saw one sight he would never forget for the life of him. No other sight had hem ever filled him with such a terror, hurt and above an all consuming sense of guilt. Cid was frozen in visual ice as he met the shock, the amazement without understanding in the eyes of Squall Leonheart. 

Cid died once again.

* * * * *

Zell watched Selphie negotiate with the Deling Junkshop owner about the price. Normally he would have explored every item in this shop, admiring them like the artifacts they were. But tonight, they seemed no more than a collection of various materials, designed for fatal decisions. Gloves, guns, whips, blades, what did their beauty and rarity matter? In the end it was just a piece of junk, ending another life. For the first time in his life he wondered how his life would have been, if there was no such thing as battle. If only he had stayed with Ma in Balamb and had lived in the place he loved, with the parents he loved.

There was so much going on, the complicated course of events seemed to have lost their logic in the heat of action. Irrationality seemed to dominate every sequence of decisions. All this was rising beyond his grasp. Even now, in the midst of their quest, he still did not understand it. Squall was in danger, the world in was in danger, Rinoa was in danger and his conscience was in danger. Only one could be saved.

He understood Quistis' motives of course, she loved Squall, that much was obvious. And to her, Rinoa's life was a worthy sacrifice. But could he really do that? Sacrifice one friend for another? He cared deeply about Rinoa, she treated him differently than everyone else. Of course he had noticed that some people didn't think highly of him, even to some of his friends. He had always been Zell, the chicken-wuss, the joker, the guy whose every action is the cause of the hilarity or disappointment amongst others.

But to her, he had been a true friend. She actually _saw_ him, behind the mask of simplicity. That had been one of the reasons why he was prepared to do everything for her. He had felt like stabbing Squall in the neck with an unsharpened pencil for hesitating to rescue her all those times. The guy was an idiot for turning her down for so many times. When she asked Zell to make a replica of Squall's ring, he had been more excited than she was, being able to do something that was actually appreciated. She had been the only one to notice him, but that was until Arian came into play.

Arian. She was truly something, the minute he had seen her, some sensation had channeled through his limbs, like a poison, freezing him in movements, thoughts and speech. Only once they had really talked, that was during the party after Ultimecia's, supposed, defeat. After the first few uneasy mutterings, they had been talking for the entire night. And he had realized that she made him think of Rinoa in a way, maybe that was what he had noticed about her in the first place. She had been a more lighter version of Rinoa, but with her own unique ability to make him laugh and silence at the same time. What would he have done, if Squall's situation applied to him? Almost immediately he decided that he would have taken Squall's decision, if it was only Zell. But it wasn't just Zell, it was Squall and Rinoa, both carried his love. One his undying admiration and the other his affection.

Either Squall would die or Rinoa. That was the logic but irrational truth. And they were here to fetch Rinoa, to kill Ultimecia in her body. Even though Odine didn't say it in so many words, that was the most obvious plan. Suddenly he felt very unsure of his loyalty. Could he really trust himself not to intervene in everyone's plan when the time came. Could he really pursue a benefit without losing something? Zell prayed that he would never need to find out. 

He suddenly noticed that the familiar melodious, attention dominating voice of Selphie has silenced. Zell snapped his thoughts back to the Junkshop and saw Selphie with an expression of sheer amazement on her face. Her large green eyes were gazing wide-eyed out of the window. Before he or the shop owner could ask her something, she dashed out of the shop, leaving even her nunchu-chuks behind on the counter. Without hesitating he ran after her into the busy shopping street of Deling City.

"Yo Selphie, wait up," Zell yelled at the running young female before him. But Selphie didn't hear him and made for the Deling Park. Zell just glimpsed the bright yellow of her dress disappearing through a mass of people on Deling Park square. What the hell had gotten into her? 

Suddenly she held still, just like that, as if someone had slapped her out of her excitement. She shuffled towards a tree and gazed from behind it at something in the dark. 

Why was she hiding?

"Hey Selph- . . ." he spoke, but she hastily interrupted him, vigorously motioning him to be silent. Zell walked towards her, peering over her shoulder into the darkness.

"What's wrong?" he whispered.

She pointed at a scenery in the distance. "Look!"

"What the hell, isn't that . . . "

"Yes, we better warn Quistis and Irvine."

"Yeah, I'll stay here, you go and get them."

* * * * 

"LOOK" said the young woman standing at the window. With her back to the other young man, lying on the bed, she gazed over the streetlight covered Deling City. With her one free eye she watched two people sitting on a bench, in the darkness, a man and a woman. Even though the darkness and the distance concealed their faces, she knew perfectly well who those two people were. She had been standing here almost all night, as she had spotted the only person who held her affection, walking into Deling City with _her_ by his side.

The tall well muscled boy stood up to look over her shoulder. "Where?"

She raised her index-finger into the direction of the half lit park. 

"Huh, those two sittin on the bench? Whoa, didn't know you were into that kinky voyeurism stuff."

She kicked him out of annoyance, grabbing his chin to direct his gaze to the scenery behind the pair. "THERE"

"Oh-uh, you mean tha-, whoa, wait a sec, isn't that . . . "

"ZELL," she finished his sentence. 

"Geez, what is he doin here in Galbadia?"

"SPYING."

"Spying? On who?," he asked confused, as he looked closely he noticed that Zell did seem suspicious, the way he was hiding behind that tree. The only people in that part of the park, were Zell and the horny couple on the bench.

"Wait a sec, is he spying on that couple there," he asked.

"YES."

"Damn, what's with everyone being horny tonight?"

"SEIFER"

"Seifer too?"

"NO. ON BENCH."

"Ah, that sneaky dog," he chuckled, "who's that chick there with him?"

"RINOA."

"Rinoa? You sure? Why the hell is Rinoa with him? Ooh, I get it, Zell's watchin Seifer and Rinoa make out." Raijin paused in confusion to contemplate this situation. But as usual, pondering was not his style so he nudged Fujin.

"Let's go and find out."

"WAIT."

"Erm, shouldn't we warn Seifer that he's being spied on?"

"NO."

__

I need to know what's going to happen.

* * * *

"I-irvine!"

Even before he saw her, Irvine recognized the voice to be Selphie's. There was only one person he knew who always forgot to breath while running _and_ talking. He snapped his eyes open to see a young girl running towards him and Quistis, who curled up against his chest, like a little child curling up against the bosom of her mother.

Quistis heard her too, as she quickly retreated from their embrace and straightened her dress and hair, before Selphie reached them out of breath. 

"Selphie darlin, what's wrong?" Irvine asked her, as she was trying to catch up her breath.

"Y-you gotta come and see this," she gasped.

"What is wrong?" Quistis asked, who already stood up, ready to get back in action, after her brief submission to weariness.

"I h-have found R-Rinoa, in the p-park," she replied, her cheeks flushed with excitement. Before Quistis or Irvine could answer, she ran away in the direction she came from.

"By Hyne," Quistis whispered, "she's here in Deling City". She was here all along, while they were on their way to leave. Had she believed in supernatural signs, than this was what she would recognize as a sign from the heavens. A sign that everything meant to turn out well.

"Hurry up!" she said, as she ran after Selphie who was leading the way. All worries, fear and pessimistic voices passed, making way for a renewed energy and passion. She did not notice the citizens of Deling City raising their eyebrows at the young SeeDs running from the crowded streets towards Deling Park like mad. Rinoa was here, that was a knowledge she never thought would give her such pleasure.

In the distance they saw Selphie coming to halt before a tree. Quistis noticed that the vicinity was more dim due to the spare parklamps. Selphie motioned them to stand behind them.

"Be quiet and look," she whispered. Irvine looked over her chestnut hair in the park. He could make out the silhouettes of two figures sitting on bench. Only when one of them stood up in the parklamp did he recognize the blue fabric, the angel motif, the slender figure and that nice bum. She stood with her back towards them, but he did not need to see her face to know it was Rinoa. 

Before he could speak, the other figure stood up too and walked towards Rinoa. She turned around, most likely responding to a comment. The taller person grabbed her by her elbow and bent down as to kiss her. That slightly harsh gesture, that walk, those familiar things made him notice the more obvious signs. A trenchcoat, light hair and the tip of a blade tied to a belt.

Behind him he heard someone gasping in disbelieve. Upon turning he saw the shocked face of Quistis, her blue eyes widened in sheer amazement. He was unsure how to define the display of emotions in her face. Was it hurt? Happiness? Fury? Confusion? Before he could hold her back, she stepped out from the shadow and approached the two people.

The two people in the distance turned around when they heard her footstep.

"You undeserving witch," Quistis spoke, almost as a whisper, spitting out each word in disgust. 


End file.
